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We live in a world where we consider perfectionism as the ultimate standard for success. Although we’re aware of our human limits, we still vie for this idealistic measurement of our worth. Whether we believe it or not, this is one of the greatest reasons we make poor choices and why we don’t pursue our dreams. We fear we won’t reach this unattainable goal (even we know deep inside us that we will never do).
Unfortunately, we are wired to follow a standard procedure to execute our objectives and fall in despair when we don’t reach them. Due to this, we get so scared of failure because we think it’s a signal to stop, or a bad omen that stops us from achieving the end goal. When we’re faced with failure, we think of it as a sign that makes us question all our hard work, if we’re doing enough, etc. This doesn’t only destroy our self-esteem, but also the very little hope that we cling to.
It’s funny how people crave success and proclaim they’re willing to go through anything to achieve their dreams but complain when setbacks hit them. The truth is, they’re only willing to experience the comfort of success but not the pain of failure, which is odd because both are part of the whole process.
Most people stop growing because they stop failing. They stop failing because they stop trying. They’ve given up on the person they’re meant to become, and that’s the fate of most people in the world. They feel shame about their losses which they shouldn’t. Your losses are what make you realize how much you want to win.
UNDERSTAND FAILURE AND ITS PURPOSE
Before you can train your mind to gradually translate your interpretation of failure into something advantageous, you need to know that failure, regardless of the intensity, happens to everybody all the time. In whatever you do, it is fundamental that you learn to manage your emotions so you wouldn’t be too easily carried away when they are tested.
For instance, when you’re faced with setbacks that make you disappointed for not meeting your expectations, don’t be discouraged. Don’t make it your first thought to give up because of one momentarily loss. Believe me, you’ll encounter much more when you’ve surpassed the first few tests. Failures crush your self-esteem because it needs to be crushed. Like all natural things in the world, we, humans, are no exception. We need to be struck with the most pain to appreciate the most joy.
Always remember to not tie your worth to failure. Your worth will never diminish no matter how many times you fall, but it will grow even fonder when you do. If we do not meet failure, we would not know where we went wrong. You have to know the purpose of your failure because it is the only way for you to get past it; otherwise, you’ll be stuck in its ropes because you think you’ve done wrong when the truth is you’re still yet to learn. It’s okay to fall short because we’re not always prepared for the surprises of life. What matters is your mind is set to overcome it then to dwell on it.
5 WAYS TO SEE FAILURE AS SUCCESS:
FACE IT HEAD ON
It’s better to approach your problem than to run away from it. Isolating yourself doesn’t solve anything nor does it bring solitude to you. Acknowledge the failure and control your mind to finding strategies to learn from it quickly and efficiently. Searching for peace won’t be any good to you unless you learn to be in control of your emotions first. Don’t expect that you won’t feel shame or a bruised ego because eventually, you’ll experience that.
Instead, pray for a humble heart to get rid of these expectations, and your failures won’t have to break anything. It takes a committed mind and heart to meet failure and rise above it simply because it happens, and sometimes, that’s not your fault. You can tell you’re not treading on the road to success if it’s not a bumpy one. If you find yourself problem-free, then probably you’re on the wrong road; one which doesn’t lead to success.
BUILD ON IT
After confronting failure, put it beneath you. Understand that you’re encountering a setback and don’t deny it. To build on it, you have to make it a goal not to fall for it again, or if it’s inevitable, then make sure you’ll mitigate the risks next time. You learn from it by asking questions such as: What did you do to attain such a result? What were the mistakes you did? How did these mistakes cost your decision?
Once you’ve answered them honestly, evaluate them at a core level so you can improve and omit those habits that have led you to them. Become so invested in your failure the same way that you would for your success. To ascend, plant your failure on the ground and leave it, carrying along with the lessons you’ve learned. One effective way to make peace with failure is to use it as a vessel for growth. Think of it as something only true warriors can overcome, and you’ll regain your strength. You learn to rise above failure when you no longer see it as a sign of weakness.
It won’t do you any good if you make failure your enemy. Failure, even before we were born, is part of ourselves. Take failure as a challenge and not as a reminder of your weaknesses. When failure comes, focus on how to get away from it as soon as possible by assessing your skills and what you’ve been doing for the past week. Take note of that and be sure not to repeat it again. Increase your self-awareness by realizing the role you play in a failure.
By recognizing your responsibility, you will realize your simple choices can make a great impact on the long-term results. Then, you’ll be more careful with whom you relate and how you behave. Furthermore, don’t blame others for your shortcomings the same way you credit all your glory to yourself. It’s better to own up to your mistake than to pass the blame to someone else. If you blame your mistakes to others, it shows you’re not acknowledging the problem in your hands and it will be harder for you to solve it.
USE IT TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE
Failure has a funny way of sticking in your mind if you keep opening your mind to it. If you’re not thinking about a new perspective, that idea of failure will keep coming back until you’ll be too discouraged to do something about it. It is crucial not to be burdened by other people’s opinions. Stay away from people who tell you there’s nothing more you can do. Sometimes they’re the ones who fill up your mind with doubt, and that’s the last thing you need.
If all you think about is a failure at face value and see it as nothing more, it will break your self-esteem and convince you not to get out of it. However, even when you’re stuck in a rut, you can give enlightenment to other people. At times of failure, you may not be able to see the light for now, but you can use it to help them.
You can tell them what to do and what not to do so they won’t be able to be in the same place as you. You can guide them with their decisions and remind them of the risks. You’re not only encouraging yourself to embrace failure (because you make it look so easy), but you’re also helping others to keep a good smile even when everything seems like crashing down.
MAKE IT YOUR ADVANTAGE
When you face failure, you learn something. You get lessons and you learn them the hard way. You have something than those who won. You have gone through enough downfalls that you have mastered how to strategically respond to them and how to rise above them than those who haven’t. In constant failure, there is constant growth.
The more you face mistakes, the wiser you become in making decisions and troubleshooting your problems. You won’t be likely to break down because you’re used to the pain and you love the process of getting up. This advantage can be very powerful if used strategically. Eventually, your confidence will be fortified with the journey you’ve been through that others find impossible to fix.
If you love success as much as you say you do, shift your perspective to see failure as an opportunity as not as merely a means to retreat. Whatever you aspire to achieve, it will destroy you in many ways beyond your imagination. You have to be tough and determined to endure your way to the top. It won’t be easy and it’s not for the faint of heart; only those who can endure every trial can have a seat at the end of the line.
Whether you’re dealing with failure at school, at work, at home, or even in the simplest things, the same rule applies: You need to stop being terrified of failure because it won’t keep you from racing towards success unless you give it the power to do so. Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s an important element part of it. Without failure, you can never grow.
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”Denis Waitley