Harsh Truth You're Too Scared To Admit About Adulting

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It’s all fun and games until life catches you off-guard. It’s all buy this, buy that, until you actually have to live the next years paycheck after paycheck. It’s all polishing your reputation until you have to swallow your ego to pay the rent.

Sure, there are a lot of perks of being a part of the twenties club. One of them would have to be having more freedom to make your decisions and stick with them. But that’s the main problem — you’re not ready to make decisions on your own. No matter how much you want to prove to your parents that you could make the right decisions already, your actions prove them otherwise.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but being part of the twenties club also means being forced to accept responsibilities that you haven’t tried before. You’re going to have to deal with it even when you don’t know what you’re up against. It’s all part of life. That’s why it’s fundamental to hear some of the harsh pieces of truth you’re too scared to admit about adulting.





It’s essential to learn how to become independent before you turn 20, so you wouldn’t be stuck in a rut when the time comes. You are officially not a teenager which means you have non-teenager priorities now, including some extremely important responsibilities. You need to do things on your own. In your twenties, you have to explore life and discover the realities that have been kept from you by your parents. It sucks to learn from scratch, but it’s part of the learning process.

When you encounter trials along the way, it’s an essential skill to soothe and accompany yourself. You won’t always have a shoulder to cry on, and that’s okay. There are some battles in your life that only you should know and not anybody else. In your twenties, you become more vulnerable to the existing issues in your society and somehow you need to live on despite them. Most days, you’re going to have to start your morning with a disappointing look on your face while watching the news.

You’re going to hear rumors from neighbors about the tragedies in their life, and that’s going to impact you greatly. You have to be calm, and remember that everything happens for a reason. You have to be tough and learn certain things that do not concern you for now but will concern you later on. Remember to not resort immediately to call for help; see if you can handle the problem at hand first. Take time to learn basic life skills and always ask for counsel from the right people.




Time will come when all you want is to hit pause and wish the world would stop moving for a little while. Time will come when you get so exhausted; you haven’t experienced being that mentally and emotionally exhausted in your whole life. All you want to do is cry and hope all your problems will go away as soon as you finish. It’s about time you realize that it’s never going to unless you do something about it.

The world doesn’t care if you’re depressed or you’re too crushed from a breakup; people won’t always be lenient to you. Accept this harsh reality first, so you will know where to stand from there. The first thing you should do is to let it all out. Before you start dealing with the things around you, be sure to deal with the things inside you first. Clear away all the negative thoughts by planning your next move in your head or writing it down on paper to make it tangible. Give yourself hope to rise above the obstacles by taking care of yourself.

As of the moment, your judgment is clouded and you’re not well and able to make smart decisions. Don’t insist that you have this all covered because you don’t; pretending will only make it worse. Ask advice from those you can trust and who you believe can help you, even if it means swallowing your pride. At times like this, your ego should be the last thing you’re worried about.




If you don’t work for anything in this entire decade of prime youth, you’ll have a lifetime regretting your past choices. You’re now at the point of your life where your whole being is tested, and that’s not something to laugh about. You have to be serious about your choices because everything you do right now dictates your future. Don’t be too complacent; that won’t bode well for you.

It’s time to take accountability for the actions you’ve done and what you’re about to do, which means you need to develop and enrich your mindset as soon as possible. Thinking you still have all the time in the world to plan your future is stupid and irresponsible. Don’t allow yourself to be influenced by people who think this way. These people are either too rich to care or too lost to have a dream.

With or without a dream, you need to work hard to survive and to sustain a beautiful future for yourself and your family. There’s no other proven formula for success than doing good, effective habits consistently. You may not see immediate results, but when you get so immersed in improving yourself, you’d feel it coming to you. While everybody else is taking for granted the time they have, you’re building your empire.

That’s the best you can give to yourself — harvesting what you planted in due time. You’re not working hard for other people but for you. If you’re still that same person before, cluelessly living through life without a dream, then you’re up for disappointment a few years later. It’s time to take action and give your promises meaning.




It’s inevitable to make poor decisions and get ourselves in trouble; even adults experience this. However, unlike before, your parents aren’t always going to be there to fix every single mistake you made. At some point, they’re going to let you have a taste of your own medicine the hard way. You’re going to have to sacrifice and endure what you got yourself into without involving anybody else. If you’re too eager to get into trouble, then surely, you’d know how to get out of it. In your twenties, being stuck in your own mess is frowned upon by the larger society.

All their unsolicited judgment will obliterate every burning desire you have to change bad habits. You have to be prepared for those types of people. Eventually, everybody goes through this and when it’s your turn, remember that it’s not going to last. Gather motivation from those who have experienced worse and those who have gotten out of it remarkably. Learn from their tactics and apply them to your own process.

If you continue doing the actions that have brought you into this mess in the first place, then you’ll be stuck in the same cycle forever. Moreover, whether you like it or not, you have to swallow your pride and accept that you’ve done wrong. Learn from it quickly by acknowledging your mistake wholeheartedly. At least when they point to one of your many flaws, you wouldn’t be too affected because you’ve already accepted them.




You can’t call someone your friend if that someone didn’t stand by you at your lowest. Some friends are wolves amidst the sheep. You can tell they’re not true when they start being distant and spitting negativity casually in your face. They don’t support you as much as the others do (though be careful with those who have different intentions too) and act like they’re in competition with you. Complimenting your growth would be poison to them.

When you decide to make a plan for your life and people see you progressing, they start leaving you. Their insecurities start to overwhelm them and they don’t want you to see them uncomfortable in your presence so they leave. As you enter your twenties, you realize your so-called friends only wanted to be with you when you were in the same place as them. But as you walk to your separate ways, found your calling, and flourished in it, that’s when their true colors show. They retaliate by spreading all their jealous remarks and negativity sprayed on you so you would go back down.

As much as possible, figure out who among your friends are like this and cut off ties with them. You can’t be successful while still interacting with them; they’ll destroy you even before you reach your goal. It’s better to leave these so-called friends than limiting your dreams. If they were really your friends, you wouldn’t even have to question them.




Gone are the days when you’re handed down opportunities you never even know you wanted. Gone are the days when you get to play around and still get a high mark on an exam. Now that you’re in your twenties, know that these expectations can have the power to either destroy you mentally or make you achieve greater heights. If you want to have this kind of lifestyle, you have to go get it. Besides, victory is much sweeter when you know for yourself you really worked hard for it.

Do you want that lifestyle? Go get it. Do you want financial freedom? Go get it. As I’ve said in my previous blog posts, entitlement is your enemy. Don’t think you deserve a higher standing or a better treatment just because you think you’ve done so much in your terms. You can’t be mad at the world if you don’t achieve a milestone at a particular time you set. It just doesn’t work that way. Sometimes, no matter how hard you work, you don’t get it.

Perhaps, it’s not your time yet or maybe it’s not meant for you. When you look up Instagram or Youtube, don’t believe what some of those influencers tell you. Success doesn’t come overnight and it surely doesn’t hand you a ladder for you to climb on. If you want something, you have to be prepared to do something you’ve never done and pursue it no matter what it takes.




We all miss having to wake up past eleven and be called to eat breakfast ready on the dining table. We all miss slacking around all day and still have something to eat the next day. We all miss living in our versions of fantasy land where we don’t pay anything, not even a single penny. Our teenage selves even have the audacity to ask for something from our parents.

But this time, you’re the one in your parents’ place. Now, you’re the one who has to spend money and to listen to the news and all the adulting practices. This time, you can’t complain and hope everything will work out the way you want it to. Now, you realize life isn’t as simple as it used to. You have to be smart and strict on your financial budget. Like my mother would always tell me, money doesn’t fall from trees.

Regardless of the numerous interpretations, people have about money, you can’t deny its importance to every single one of us. When you receive your first paycheck, don’t allow those with selfish intentions to fluff your ego. Life is not living the one-day-millionaire lifestyle. If you’re not going to be disciplined with your finances, you’re going to work for those who do. 



“Do stuff. Be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. Attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager.”

Susan Sontag

Published by Monique Renegado

Monique started Life Begins At Twenty as a 20-year-old college student from the Philippines. In her lifestyle and wellness blog, she shares first-hand experiences and soulful advice about student life, relationships, mental health, adulting, and self-growth. Monique is passionate about literature, music, public speaking, and family. Besides studying and blogging full-time, she strives hard to become a published author with her first YA fiction novel and poems. Monique is the older sister you wish you had to help you navigate your twenties successfully. If you want a constant drive for motivation and pep talks, be a part of her journey.

6 thoughts on “Harsh Truth You're Too Scared To Admit About Adulting

  1. Hi, I really enjoyed reading this post. The line “If you don't work for anything in this entire decade of prime youth, you'll have a lifetime regretting your past choice” really hit me and I love the final quote “pay attention..stay eager” ! An awesome and inspiring piece, really unique. Great work 🙂


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