9 Signs of Fake Love You Should Not Ignore

Photo by Priscilla du Preez from Unsplash


Fake love can’t be fake because one of you is untrue. Your relationship can form a fake love because its foundation is fake from the very core. Both people in the relationship have unreal/impure intentions of being together, and that’s why their broken connection leads them to break themselves in the process. If you don’t filter and fix the problems early on, you’ll likely harvest a fake, toxic persona from your partner and yourself.

These 11 signs can come from both sides, but regardless of who showed any of these signs of fake love, it implies you need to examine and troubleshoot through the nooks and crannies of your relationship before it’s too late. Both of you need to evaluate the differences between your personalities, patience, and a lot more factors in play when in a relationship.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE IN A FAKE RELATIONSHIP? 

 

It’s difficult to admit that your relationship right now may not be the last one you’ll have. I’m sorry to rain on your parade, but you might probably be getting ahead of yourself. There are way too many things to consider and go through before you can confidently say, “this relationship is the right one for me.”

Your ego, time, trust, and everything else you invested in that relationship is on the line. The plans you compromised and the other important relationships you cut off for that one romantic relationship with that person were on the line, and the stakes were too high (but you did it anyway). You wouldn’t know what to say or do to your family and friends when the day finally comes that you two broke it off, especially after being told by all of them that he’s only going to hurt you. Of course, like any lovesick hopeless romantic, you thought they were judging him too quickly and didn’t give him a chance to prove himself. You told them they didn’t know him as you knew him, but boy, were you wrong. 

 

9 RED FLAGS OF FAKE LOVE YOU SHOULD LOOK OUT FOR:

 

IGNORING ALL YOUR CONCERNS 

 

Your partner doesn’t listen to a single word you say especially when you communicate to him about your feelings. He purposely ignores you when you’re mad or worried about something. Also, he tends to label you “too sensitive” for merely expressing your sentiments. Disinterest is written on his face every time you confront him about something and he doesn’t even bother faking it (that’s how much you know he couldn’t care less). Your partner is emotionally distant and makes you feel guilty for being a burden to your relationship. He makes you feel like you need to change your sensitivity level like a flip on a switch. Even worse, you might not want to admit it but he enjoys when you’re mad at him because it means less time for both of you.

 

 

That’s a sign of fake love. 

 

AVOIDING THE TOPIC OF YOUR FUTURE 

 

For some reason, your partner is okay with talking about nonsense stuff than making plans about both of your future. He isn’t open to sharing his dreams and doesn’t bother to listen to yours. He always gives excuses to avoid the topic like telling you to “enjoy the now, worry later” or “you’re souring the mood because you’re too serious” but doesn’t show any appreciation to you for looking forward to growing your relationship. Moreover, he gets upset when you ask him questions about his plans.

It makes you feel like you’re not a part of his future (and usually, you’re not. If you really were, he’d never shut up bragging about it because you’re his whole life). You can’t help but feel anxious that you might not be spending the rest of your life with him because he doesn’t show his interest at all and keeps giving hints that you’ll be going your separate ways sooner or later.

In other words, you’re just temporary lust or a cure for boredom because he isn’t serious about you. More importantly, he doesn’t introduce you to his parents and vice versa; or even to his closest friends. As much as possible, your partner doesn’t want you to hold onto anything permanent in his life by forging a relationship with important people in his life. 

 

 

That’s a sign of fake love. 

 

FEELING ASHAMED OF YOU 

 

Although he tries to hide it, you can sense he’s embarrassed when being associated to you. He prefers not to be seen in a picture with you on social media but strangely, he’s okay with having his picture taken when he’s with his friends. In other words, he’s embarrassed by you for whatever reason. He isn’t proud of having you as a partner and even discourages you to be open about it as well. You are either a secret or a rebound girl after being rejected by the girl he really wanted to pursue. When you’re with his friends (after forcing him to let you come with him), he leaves you alone to feel awkward and out of place while he gives all his time and attention to his mates. 

 

 

That’s a sign of fake love. 

 

NOT MAKING TIME FOR YOU 

 

Your partner doesn’t value the time you make for him and takes for granted the patience you have. He never makes plans, or whenever he does, he picks a place he knows you would never go to so he can escape it. And when you do make plans, he always makes excuses. Sometimes, you assume he intentionally makes himself late so you’ll either cancel or pick a fight with him (usually, you’re right).

He doesn’t give importance to making fun memories with you because he doesn’t look forward to the time you and him will be together. But when you do catch him off guard and finally persuade him to watch a movie, he does everything he can to make that time the worst or something you wouldn’t want to remember. 

 

 

That’s a sign of fake love. 

 

NOT BEING TRANSPARENT AND OPEN  

 

While being with you, your partner lives a very secretive and sketchy upbringing. He keeps secrets and lies about them when you confront him surprisingly. At the end of the day, you find yourself sneaking for proof and tricking him into keeping himself busy so you can snoop into his phone. You know for a fact his actions are calculated but he makes excuses about them anyway.

When you ask him where he’s going or who he’s with, he gaslights you and makes you feel bad about choking him and controlling his every move (and maybe at some point, you don’t realize you’re already doing that because you’re in utter denial). Your partner keeps playing the victim and suddenly that face of an angel comes out just when he needs is to. [Sorry, I just got to make that White Horse reference there lol.] 

 

 

That’s a sign of fake love. 

 

ALWAYS STARTING FIGHTS 

 

It’s either he’s the one who makes issues about anything he can think of or gives you the reason to start one. What he really wants is to end the relationship but doesn’t want it to seem like he caused it. He wants to paint himself as the victim by giving you a reason to end the relationship and make you the bad guy. This is one of the best ways to describe fake love because instead of him wanting you to be happy, he wants you to be angry all the time. He brings out the worst in you, and in turn, you in him, while blaming each other for your mistakes. 

 

 

That’s a sign of fake love. 

 

MORE INTERESTED IN OTHER GIRLS 

 

He doesn’t like you enough not to be distracted when girls pass by, to begin with. When in the middle of a conversation, his attention gradually slips away when he sees pretty women with huge tits and ass. You end up looking stupid talking to a boy who, for sure, doesn’t give a damn about what you’re talking about. He rarely compliments you and when he does, it’s a back-handed compliment, or worse, casually compares you to other girls like comparing clothes’ sizes. He hits your insecurities and laughs at them insensitively, and tells you to loosen up when you’re offended.

 

 

That’s a sign of fake love. 

 

THERE’S NO ZING 

 

This isn’t the most reliable pointer but your gut feeling is as essential as anything else. Whenever you’re with him, you feel nothing like what others say when they’re with their significant others — calm, safe, feels like home. Instead, when you’re together, you feel like every action you make is calculated and a chore. You feel like you have to spend the day with him like it’s an obligation where you don’t get anything out of. 

 

 

To reassure your mind, you keep telling yourself you’re happy in this relationship. You don’t feel giddy or excited or at peace when you’re with him. Moreover, you need to be somebody else like maintaining a fake image to make him want you. As a result, you end up being exhausted by pretending to be as many versions as you can to satisfy his needs. That’s as fake as it gets.

 

 

That’s a sign of fake love. 

 

LEAVES ON THE BAD DAYS 

 

You may think your partner is just busy and you force yourself to understand his situation (even when you know you’re desperately covering up for him). He doesn’t bother calling you or asking you if you’re okay. Usually, he isn’t there even on the good days, but when you go through really tough times, he’s nowhere to be found. No texts. No calls. Not even a simple “how are you?” would come out of his mouth. Instead, he gives you a stupid reason like giving you the needed time to breathe and think when the truth is, he doesn’t want to entertain your mood swings or extra needy attitude while you’re in that emotionally vulnerable stage.  

 

 

That’s a sign of fake love. 

 

CONCLUSION: 

 

Contrary to popular belief, even a stable relationship may go through these signs but the difference between a true, stable relationship between a fake one is a true one eventually gets through with it together as a couple with reassurance, forgiveness, and faith. Be true to one another and don’t leave anything out. It’s time you stop fooling around and wasting each other’s time just so you can tell the world you’re in a “relationship.” 

 

“If I doubt your intentions I will never trust your actions.”

Carlos Wallace

Published by Monique Renegado

Monique started Life Begins At Twenty as a 20-year-old college student from the Philippines. In her lifestyle and wellness blog, she shares first-hand experiences and soulful advice about student life, relationships, mental health, adulting, and self-growth. Monique is passionate about literature, music, public speaking, and family. Besides studying and blogging full-time, she strives hard to become a published author with her first YA fiction novel and poems. Monique is the older sister you wish you had to help you navigate your twenties successfully. If you want a constant drive for motivation and pep talks, be a part of her journey.

35 thoughts on “9 Signs of Fake Love You Should Not Ignore

  1. Thanks for sharing these! You're absolutely spot on and knowing these in my late teens/early twenties would have saved me a LOT of heartache. Every relationship I had prior to meeting my husband had more than 1 of these red flags so I definitely could have done with this post back then. 🙂

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  2. Thank you so much! I appreciate it! Well, I'm sorry if you had to go through the heartache but at least you know better now that it was all for a purpose and that was to meet your husband. Everything happens for a reason.

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  3. I agree, this list is all red flags of an unhealthy relationship/love. I would actually apply this to friendships and family relationships as well! I have had many instances where a “friend” should be showing these signs and it would be super toxic. Thanks for sharing!

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  4. Thank you so much for sharing this very interesting post. I highly encourage anyone who checks off yes to any of these 9 signs to find the nearest exit and exit their “relationship”. xo Erica

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  5. Amazing article the time I spent reading this is absolutely worth it, fortunately none of the red flags mentioned in the article is present in my current lovelife. 😅😅

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  6. Such a great advice. Its something that's not spoken about as often as it should be. Fake love can be so damaging for mental health and can really make you feel worthless long term.

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  7. These are some important red flags that you should be aware of. It can be hard to see sometimes if you are the person who loves the other. But in the long run it is better for you to realise you are wasting your time, energy and efforts. Thank you for sharing. Lauren – bournemouthgirl

    Like

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