|Photo by Igor Miske from Unsplash|
In the real world, intelligence and skill are often overlooked when your attitude isn’t up to par. It doesn’t matter how smart or quick you are at getting sales if you don’t bond well with your colleagues when fixing problems. Some companies swallow their pride and accept the smartest person in the room but that’s not going to last long. There’s nothing more annoying than hearing someone always complaining and making the work place his hostile, negative throne.
If you want to succeed, you need more than book smarts to get by every ordeal standing your way. It takes a positive attitude to maintain good rapport with other people and to shield yourself from insults and fear of rejection. Your future depends on how you relate to people because you’re going to need all the help you can get for you to reach the top. Moreover, positive-minded people have more chances to succeed in life because they know setbacks are a necessary foundation for growth.
WHY SHOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR NASTY ATTITUDE?
Being stubborn about not changing your attitude reflects your ego. You think that regardless of your behavior, people will make themselves feel bad just to be with you. You think you’re too special for them to let go, so you continue to release your anger on them. You couldn’t care less about their feelings or worth because your attitude is what’s making you blind. You should change your attitude because it’s the best way to build trust with other people. Without trust, there will be no place in this world for you except in your miserable self.
Not only will you be opened to better opportunities, but you would also build a stronger foundation of trust with your peers, colleagues, families, and more. With a positive and bright attitude, you will face life more courageously and responsibly. Let’s be honest, no one likes a rude person; even a rude person himself. You should change your bad attitude because no one is going to be patient enough to understand you all the time. Not everyone is kind enough to consider your shortcomings and give you excuses for every terrible thing you do.
Change your nasty attitude because it’s the only way to live a better life for yourself. If you continue to live a life with a horrible personality, no one will ever want to get to know you. When you get older, no one will come to visit you when you’re sick. No one will give you food when you run out. No one will be there for you when you’re dead. What you give to others will eventually come back to you.
16 WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR NASTY ATTITUDE:
PRACTICE PATIENCE AS A VIRTUE
Keep in mind that no matter how independent you think you are, we’re social beings who need other people. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, but this shouldn’t be a reason for you to force the people around you to follow your pace. Most times, your nasty attitude shows when you don’t get what you want at the time you want it. When you do something from scratch, chances are, you give up so easily because you don’t see the expected results, leaving you discouraged. One way or another, you need to accept life as it is, and to do that, patience is necessary.
FIND ROLE MODELS AND FOLLOW THEM
One effective way to change your attitude for the better is when you’re influenced by someone better. Befriend people whom you think set a good example as the best version you aspire to become. It’s difficult to assess the ugly parts of yourself until you look in the mirror and envision a different self.
What you need is a figure worth emulating, preferably someone you don’t personally know. By choosing the right group of people, you’re surrounded by their good personalities, thoughts, moral values, and lifestyles. Sooner or later, your attitude will be positively influenced by how they respond to problems and how they deal with people especially when disagreements arise.
USE MAGIC WORDS FREQUENTLY
A simple “thank you” and “please,” “excuse me,” and “sorry” can go a long way. It can make a stranger smile or someone working a menial job go to work the next day. These magic words are often taken for granted and ignored, that’s why people don’t bother saying them anymore. They think it’s for children or for adults but only appropriate under professional contexts (which is far from the truth).
You don’t have to be professional to be courteous and civil. This should be done not only out of habit but to gradually transform your attitude for the better because you’ll know how to acknowledge another person’s feelings and appreciate their kindness. Moreover, saying magic words can also give you a good impression that you’re approachable and friendly. Apart from that, not only can it increase the chances of you being done a favor, it can make you a new friend too.
Usually, your anger gets the best of you when you’re offended. However, the problem is, you don’t get to choose what people get to tell you. What you can control, however, is how you respond to it. One of the common ways people unleash their nasty attitude is in defense of their pride because they don’t want to be painted as people’s perception of them. The only way to avoid this is to know how to best accept criticism from different kinds of people in different situations. Once you master how to acknowledge criticism and turn it as an advantage point, you will know where to improve and what to stop doing to maintain healthy relationships with your colleagues.
ENJOY THINGS AND LET PEOPLE ENJOY THEM TOO
Appreciating things that bring you joy is an effective way to learn to have a good attitude heartily. Being grateful for the reasons of your happiness and loving the emotion enables you to be the reason for someone else’s happiness. When you realize you are capable of smiling, there’s an urge for you to spread happiness to people around you. Don’t be someone who loves to destroy other people’s confidence just because they don’t fit to your standards. Instead, you must be someone who uplifts when people are down and be happy for those who see the clear skies apart from the grey ones.
ASSUME LESS, ASK MORE
There’s nothing faster than can cause arguments and drama than assumptions. Before you start a fight you know you’re going to regret, better ask the person point black to get the truth out of him instead of making conclusions on your own. It’s inevitable that you get upset over rumors and assumptions especially when you hear it from someone else, and further secrecy can trigger you to get out of control. Whether you’re the one being talked about or not, make it a practice to ask a question before picking a fight with someone who may or may not be your enemy.
RELEASE YOUR EMOTIONS TO OTHER CHANNELS
To avoid lashing out at other people (especially those whom you don’t mean to hurt in any way), convert your anger into an activity or habit that eases you. When you’re angry, it’s easy to put the blame on someone else, and this can cause fights. It’s important to channel it to a place where you can self-soothe yourself, whether it be exercising, meditating or even stress eating. This avoids not only unnecessary arguments but also the consequence of poor decision-making skills.
RESPOND TO CHANGE
When you hear bad news, don’t dwell on it and drag the agony. Immediately find a way to alleviate the situation by making a move. Stop thinking about ways for the situation to bring things back to your liking because not everything is reversible. Focusing your energy on the fact that you can’t do anything about it will not do any good to you or to the people around you. When you do find a plausible solution to the problem at hand, act on it carefully by comparing it with other solutions and reevaluating if it is indeed the best decision. The reason people get mad when they’re stuck with a problem is because they ignore it until it worsens.
GET TO KNOW YOUR ENEMIES BETTER
We think of our enemies as shallow, spineless people who have no desire but to ruin our life, but they’re not all that. They have a reason why they’re like that. Get to know them at the core level and see them past your anger. This means not to exploit your enemies’ weaknesses and make a fool out of them. This is about understanding why you see them as enemies in the first place by recognizing how they affect you personally. Do you feel intimidated by them? Have you experienced being treated unfairly? By getting to know them better, you will know why they do what they do and realize so many people don’t like you too but they know nothing about your story.
RECOGNIZE YOUR TRIGGERS
Find out what makes you angry and how much it makes you mad. Answer the questions you ask yourself; it’s all about self-awareness. Understand where your anger is coming from; maybe it’s something you’ve experienced in the past or a memory of someone hurting you before.
Never think it’s irrelevant or insignificant because if it were, it shouldn’t be bothering you so much. Once you identify what pisses you off in a certain degree, stretch that limit every day so you can see the impact it gives you and evaluate how you react to it. Eventually, when you care less about what makes you mad, you can witness the difference.
APOLOGIZE TO OTHERS
The moment you learn how to apologize to others, you’ll learn how to let go of resentment. Apologizing to others is not only a humble act of being aware that you are mistaken but also a message that you are trying to turn over a new leaf. You’ll learn how to understand another person’s feelings and reasons for doing what they do. You’ll also learn to exercise an open mind when reading other people’s nonverbal cues.
The last to change bad behavior is to forgive yourself for everything. You’re a human who makes mistakes and has shortcomings. It’s a struggle to strike a balance between your emotions and priorities. You can’t change your bad attitude without accepting that you can’t be perfect and you can’t be there for everyone all the time. Forgive yourself for the bad things you’ve done to other people and make it a promise to change for a better, kinder behavior. You owe it to those whom you have trespassed, and most especially to yourself. It’s not easy to carry an ugly heart wherever you go, especially when you’re being judged with something you’re not sure if you even understand. Take care of yourself by being good.
CUT TIES FROM ABSORBING NEGATIVITY
As long as you consider any form of negativity as your source of motivation, you will never be capable of changing for the better. You have to see that doing dirty work and stepping on other people’s rights to get what you want will not do you any good, even instant gratification. It may feel good to get to a place quicker than your competitors, but all that’s doing to your dignity is staining it. Not only are you fooling yourself by how you achieved your goal, but you’re also alienating yourself from people you’re supposed to have a healthy competition with and disrespecting the game of chasing your dream fair and square.
APPLY VALUES INTO PRACTICE
The values you learn and the experiences you witness must be put into practice. It’s not enough that you study and join support groups but don’t use what you learn in your day-to-day interactions. You need to concentrate on which part of yourself needs improvement and which needs retention. When someone says you have a bad attitude, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a bad person. But most times, you have a problem with responding to them cordially because of your unrealistic expectations to be treated like how you paint it in your mind.
EVALUATE YOUR ATTITUDE REGULARLY
Check your progress every once in a while. Acknowledge your improvement if you have and increase your challenges after every success. Your attitude can be influenced by a myriad of things and it’s wise to assess your progress of resisting temptation and where you stand in terms of practicing what you preach. Evaluating your attitude reflects how honest you are with yourself in truly changing for the good because you accept it’s not going to come easy. You’re patient with improving your ability to compromise and put others’ interests above yours when need be.
DO EVERYTHING POLITELY
It costs nothing to do things politely regardless of the kind of person you’re interacting with. The mere act itself is extremely underrated. People don’t realize how much it affects one’s day. This is as simple as being taught in kindergarten but unfortunately, even adults like us can’t seem to do this especially when under pressure. We’re all caught up in this hierarchy where respect is divided according to your position. Just because you have a higher title, that doesn’t mean you get a free pass to disrespect and embarrass other people when you feel like it. You may not want to admit it but you were once in their position and you wouldn’t like it if you were treated the way you’re treating them now. Your title is not a license to see yourself as superior to them; in fact, it’s a bigger opportunity for you to set the right example of how a leader should be.
Reforming a negative attitude starts with believing you can change. Do keep in mind that your transformation will not be an easy process. You owe it to yourself to be patient and understanding, and this includes not getting your way all the time. Eventually, your sacrifices will be worth it because every day is an opportunity to be kinder and more optimistic.
“Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.” – Albert Einstein