Photo by Mikael Kristenson from Unsplash
All of us are vulnerable to a certain type of feeling, no matter how grounded or established we are as a person. Sometimes, even when the gold medal is around our neck, we feel like the person who got the silver one deserved to win instead of us. Sometimes, we feel so empty inside to the point where we become emotionally numb to the pain. No matter how tempting that is — to be numb to the pain — we can’t deny our yearning to feel every bit of emotion this life has to offer. It’s part of being human.
We all have those days when we feel like nothing when we get too good at telling ourselves we’re never going to be good enough. The feeling of worthlessness doesn’t come instantly; it’s rather an accumulation of negative feelings that come usually during a bad day and sumps up when we’ve reached the limit of what we can tolerate in our self-esteem. This feeling is very common in your twenties and it hits you where you least expect it. There will come a day when everyone around you got everything they wanted, and their happiness just causes you pain, and you hate yourself for it.
One way or another, that feeling of being unworthy of everything is bound to happen, and there’s no way you can prepare for it. Strangely, some people experienced getting that feeling when they’re only a few steps away from achieving their goal and unfortunately, gave up. It’s so powerful, most are willing to throw away years of grinding and hustling to that voice of deceit.
Don’t let that happen to you. You’re so much stronger than that.
14 COMMON REASONS THAT GET YOU FEELING WORTHLESS:
1. You compare yourself with others. You’re blind to see your worth because you constantly whine and worry about what you don’t have and praise for what others have.
2. You tell yourself you’re not good enough. Due to minor setbacks, you think you wouldn’t have to fail if you were perfect. You hate yourself for being any less than perfect.
3. You got criticized by someone you idolized. Undeniably, it’s painful to get criticized by someone whom you look so highly of. You try to do everything right by him yet he can’t see it.
4. You lost in a competition you worked so hard on. You tied your worth to the prestige and pride of winning a trophy in a competition, and now that you lost, despite doing all you can, you lost your sense of worth too.
5. You felt like you didn’t belong. You’re in all these groups and affiliations but not one can make you feel like you belonged. You don’t see them needing you, supporting you like what you expect to be like a family.
7. You got rejected at work. Probably you’ve been hit by the most painful rejection you received because the person whom you’ve always wanted to impress told you you weren’t good enough. You tried to shrug it off but to no avail.
8. You felt like there’s nothing you can do to avoid a problem from happening. You hear a bad news from a friend or a family member and your gut tells you to do something but your mind tells you otherwise. You feel so helpless and useless.
9. Your self-esteem is destroyed because of a recent incident. Recently, you’re either embarrassed in front of a big old crowd by unintentionally showing them your vulnerabilities.
10. You feel like people don’t value you as much as you value them. For some reason, you think a relationship is conditional and transactional. You do good to other people with the expectation of the deed being returned to you.
11. You believe when people say the only reason you got to where you are is that you’re lucky. You feel worthless because you gave in to the negativity of people who say what brought you success was only luck. You feel like you have no real talent and skill.
12. You wanted to do more to change your life or someone you care about but there are a million reasons you can’t. You see someone special in your life struggling to live another day so you want to help them but you feel like everything’s so complicated, you wouldn’t even know where to start.
13. You dream for so much more in your mind but can’t make it a reality. You think your worth is defined by the level of success you have. While you’re still on the way to fulfilling your dreams, you think you’re worthless until then.
14. You feel like the position you’re in is entirely your fault. You blame yourself for the actions that led you to be in that place even when the circumstances were beyond your control. You feel worthless because all you see is the pile of mistakes you think you made.
14 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU FEEL WORTHLESS:
SOMEONE OUT THERE IS INSPIRED BY YOU
Before you say you’re a waste of space on this earth, remember that in your lifetime, your “miserable life” inspired someone out there. That someone is beyond grateful for having you in his life, for without you, his life wouldn’t have turned out the way he wanted. When you don’t believe in yourself, that someone thinks you have amazing potential to achieve whatever your heart desires. Not only did you take away a few minutes of your precious time to help him, you also made him think he was worthy of your help.
THERE’S NOBODY ELSE LIKE YOU
Out of a million sperm cells, you were chosen to exist. Even before you were born, God knew you were destined for great things. There’s nobody else who looks, smells, acts, and feels exactly like you. You are good at certain things and you are bad at other things, but that’s what makes you you. Whatever you do, no one else can do it the same as you. No one in this world can ever compare to you because you’re special in your way.
YOU MAKE SOMEONE VERY HAPPY
Whether it’s a decade ago or yesterday, you’ve made at least one person happy. That means you are capable of making someone happy; thus, you have happiness inside you. If you do not realize the power you must have for making one person in this world smile, then you have no idea what you’re capable of doing. If it’s either helping a stranger out or defending an unknown person’s name in a conversation, that’s proof that you are worthy of being loved and accepted.
Maybe most times, you find yourself in a position where everyone seems to not like having you around but that speaks a lot more about them than you. When a person is truly down, not even an all-expense trip to anywhere in the world can make him happy. All it takes is someone who would care and listen. If you’re that someone, you are the kind of person many would die to be friends with.
NEVER LET SOMEONE DICTATE YOUR HAPPINESS
Your happiness must never depend on whether you’re good enough for a certain person because a man’s opinion is not (and never will be) the ultimate standard. Your worth is and will always be precious and special and absolute. No matter what anybody says, you’re the one who truly knows yourself. Misunderstandings may steal away your joy because the hurt won’t allow you to move on but you don’t have to deprive yourself of being happy.
GREATER JOYS ARE COMING
The fact that you’re feeling down right now means better days are coming to your life. You’re feeling this way because God is crushing you in preparation for something better. It may not feel like it at the moment, but someday you’ll understand why you had to go through those adversities. Life is a mystery full of choices, No matter how much you think you can predict an outcome of a choice, you can’t (no matter how bad it is). As mysterious as life can be, it is also unpredictable. A person who’s lost possibly everything there is to call your own can bounce back from rock bottom stronger than anyone who’s never failed. You’re meant for greatness because you’re here.
YOU’RE NOT ALONE
When you start opening up your problems, you realize you’re not the only one feeling the same way. Many others go through the struggle of feeling not good enough or comparing themselves to more successful people. You’re not alone with your confusion in this stage of life. Never think you have no one to talk to or no one you can relate to because that’s not true. You realize someone has it worse than you, and even in the gravity of your situation, you still have something to be thankful for.
You feel guilty for sounding so ungrateful and privileged, but don’t beat yourself up about it too much. It’s hard to be grateful when so many things in front of you are going wrong. This takes practice to be mindful and patient with the things you have now. You shouldn’t be ashamed of what you’re feeling; it’s all part of human nature. As long as you try to improve attitude and your point of view in life, you will regain your the self-esteem you need. Also remember that you’re not alone in the recovery process; it may take a while but it’s all worth it in the end.
FIND COMFORT IN THE LORD
Surrender all your doubts to Him completely with everything that your heart can fathom. The reason you’re feeling so heavy is that you’re taking it all alone when you’re not supposed to. It’s okay to admit you’re not strong enough because you’re not supposed to do it on your own. You’re supposed to go through a lot of pain and suffering so you can call out to Him and implore for His grace. Remember that you’re not weak if you ask the Lord to intervene. In fact, you’re stronger in mind and in faith. You are made in the image and likeness of God, so if you ever feel worthless again, remember that you’re a child of God. No earthly mistake can taint your priceless dignity.
IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO SAVE THE WORLD
Whoever said you should be working for the sole purpose of making the world a better place is a big fat hypocrite. You’re only one of eight billion people in the world and it’s not your responsibility to change every one of their lives not only because you can’t but because you don’t have to. The moment you realize there are more important things in the world than what’s in your head, you become free.
YOU CAN STILL ENJOY LIFE
No matter how hard your life has been, you can still make the most out of life. You can still choose to see the brighter side of things while aiming to go further. Don’t live a life filled with exhaustion for pleasing other people’s expectations more than making yourself pleased. If you say making them happy is truly what you want, then you shouldn’t be exhausted in the first place. You just can’t keep giving, and complain when you have nothing left for yourself.
Be mindful of setting boundaries and don’t leave yourself out of the equation. You’re just as important as the people you’re trying to impress. You deserve every bit of happiness in this world as long as you allow yourself to unwind. Just because you don’t ride an airplane every weekend to an exclusive remote private island, that doesn’t make your life any less extraordinary. A simple life can make as much as a big difference as someone who lives lavishly.
YOU HAVE THE MOST GENUINE HEART
Apart from family and closest friends, someone out there who still might be a stranger loves you not for what you’ve done but for who you are. Someone out there doesn’t want to lose you because he remembered when you treated him right when everyone walked over him like a door mat. Even when you’re in the process of hurting, you still put on a smile on your face to people who you knew were living miserable lives. You still made it your mission to make them live another day, and you don’t even notice — that’s how genuine your heart is. You’ve won battles not even your closest friends knew about. You’re braver than you think, even when you cry yourself to sleep.
YOU ARE NOT AFRAID OF GROWTH
Be proud of yourself because you didn’t run away from the short-term pain of uncertainty. You confronted the obstacles head-on by enduring the sacrifices (and you’ve done this without bragging a word with anyone). You’re not scared to try things blindfolded because you genuinely believe there’s something wonderful in store for you in the future. Chasing for growth no matter how scary the transition is what makes you truly invincible. You would no longer be afraid when hurdles come because you know they are necessary to become a stronger version of yourself.
YOU HAVE A PURPOSE IN THIS LIFE
Seeking for your life’s purpose is not something you can achieve in two years, not even ten. You may still not see it right now but you will soon. It’s either you’re looking the wrong way or you’re not looking what’s beyond the surface. You need to do more than just an introspection; you need to exercise divine soul-searching by isolating yourself from the noise outside your mind. Quit comparing yourself to others who you think had it easier than you because you have no idea. You’re undergoing these tough battles to help other people who are dealing with the same thing because you are capable enough to help them. You are worth loving and being fought for as much as other people.
YOU WOULDN’T BE WHERE YOU ARE NOW IF YOU WEREN’T GOOD ENOUGH
Many people experience impostor’s syndrome during different phases of the journey, and unfortunately, some people don’t even make it to the end because they give up so easily. Remember that God wouldn’t put you in that position if you weren’t meant to be in it in the first place. You were blessed with that challenge as an opportunity to bleed, to learn, to grow, and to see the power you hold inside you. The opinions of others don’t change the fact that you have the talent and skill to conquer the wonders of the world. It may not feel like it now as you’re young but eventually, the opportunities will come.
No matter how many times you shred or deform a one-dollar bill, it is and will always be a one-dollar bill. It won’t be any less nor will it be stretched into your perception of its value. You are unique and special in your way, and your mistakes can’t cover them forever. Your scars will eventually heal and they will turn the most beautiful part of your body. You will no longer feel like your bad decisions reflect you, because it will answer the questions you have right now. Soon enough, people may forget your name and your face, but what will remain is what you’ve made them feel.
You have to understand that when you spend so much time with people who don’t value you, you would think less of yourself according to how others treat you. This is one of the most common ways to abuse yourself because you’re in the company of those who make you don’t want to live another day. Also, it’s important you remember that whatever path you choose, please be someone who uplifts other people without expecting to be told back.
“All the wealth in the world is nothing, pointless – of no true value – if you yourself feel worthless.”Rasheed Ogunlaru