Photo by Anh Nguyen from Unsplash
Disclaimer: I am not a psychiatrist/psychologist. I am not in any way an expert on the symptoms/behaviors/medicine of anxiety and any other mental health disease.
Being anxious prevents us from thinking clearly and making rational decisions efficiently. It steals away our opportunity for growth and every chance we have at peace of mind. Moreover, it creates imaginary problems out of the wheel of negativity running in our heads the entire day. Being in this state of mind causes stress physically and mentally, and most times, we are in this position because we don’t know how to avoid instances like this, or we don’t know how to get out of this uneasy situation.
In your twenties, you get anxious about possibly everything. You want things to go smoothly, exactly according to the way we want (but you know it won’t happen, and even if it will, it wouldn’t last very long). Your expectations in your life and the world you live in contribute a huge factor as to why you’re always pressuring yourself to be everything to everybody. You want to make a difference in the lives of those around you, but you also want to be the best in your field no matter what it takes (and the harsh irony here is: you can’t have the best of both worlds).
TRUST THE PROCESS
We are always in a hurry to be in a certain place at a certain time because we want to make the most out of our lives. As humans, we want a sense of security in any form. We want to be assured that the result of our choices tantamount to the amount of skill, time, and perseverance offered. We all desire to take control with at least half of what happens in our lives, but all this desire will only cause you even more frustration.
When you truly accept in your heart that the all-knowing God will bring you peace, you’ll be more powerful than ever. You’ll be more confident in making decisions because you understand that will all work out for the best in the end. If you’re in peace, you learn to trust the process. You’ll learn to love the process of losing more than the feeling of winning itself.
14 COMMON REASONS YOU’RE ANXIOUS:
1. People not seeing our worth. You’re anxious about how you’ve been doing in terms of being a partner, daughter/son, member in an organization, etc. You’re scared what you’ve been doing was unseen and unappreciated.
2. Our work not being good enough. You’re anxious that the long, tedious hours you’ve spent preparing and polishing every bit of your work doesn’t qualify for half of what they expect of you.
3. People losing interest in us. You’re scared that your mistakes have gone too far every time. You’re afraid that anytime people can easily fall out of love with us and wake up one day telling you that he doesn’t want you anymore.
4. Losing passion in the craft. You want to be productive but you’re scared that too much might get you burnt out and you’ll lose your drive to work on your passion. You’re afraid that you’ll have nothing left to run to because your fuel is all run-out.
5. Abandoned during a time when we need someone the most. You’re anxious that you’ll be left by the person who’s been with you through all your life because he’s grown weary of helping you or you are no longer in his best interests.
6. Something bad will happen. You’re too worried thinking about the negative scenarios that may or may not happen that you fail to enjoy the present.
7. Decisions backfiring. You spent a lot of time thinking of a responsible, favorable decision, and unfortunately, it backfires to you. You end up starting at a place you once prayed to outgrow.
8. All your current possessions will be gone. You’re scared that all the material things you’ve worked so hard on will one day be gone or lose their value.
9. Running out of time. You’re anxious that because of your complacency, you’ve wasted a good half of your life. Now you’re running out of time, there’s already a clear line of your limit to do things.
10. Your future not turning out the way you expected it. You’ve prayed for a specific kind of future since you were a kid and you’re scared of not being able to fulfill that dream of yours. You’re anxious about being unhappy for the rest of your life.
11. Looking back at a life full of regrets. You’re conflicted between savoring your youth and planning to start a business because you don’t want to wish you’ve done something when you were young. You’re anxious about not doing what you want to do because of the path you choose.
12. The world plotting against you. You come to think that the reason you’re not moving forward is that the world is somehow doing what it can to make sure that’s not going to happen.
13. You’re constrained with financial limits. You’re afraid the plans you’re making aren’t going to be made and sustained by the financial back-up that it requires. You start second-guessing whether you’re fit to have these dreams because it involves money you don’t have.
14. One decision will determine the course of the rest of your life. You become too obsessed with making the right decision in every situation every time. You’re scared of picking the wrong choice because you think there’s nothing you can do to rise above your mistakes.
10 WAYS TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE:
MAKE IT COUNT
It’s strange that we express how important it is to treasure every minute of our lives but spend almost all of it worrying about what might go wrong. Time flies by so fast, you barely notice it; you can never get it back. When you feel anxious about something, remember that the time you spend worrying and whining can be used for something useful like finding the right solutions for your problems.
JUST DO IT
This may sound reckless if you put it in an impulsive context but this advice actually saves a lot of people from not fulfilling the dreams of their loves. Sometimes, the only thing standing between you and the future you create is doubt. Most times, we overthink the consequences and the possible triggers for failure. We get anxious about how this risk might affect us because we’re afraid to step out of our comfort zone. As a result, we end up not doing what we dream of doing. When you want to achieve something, you have to give and risk it all even when it’s not certain.
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW IF YOU WON’T TRY
The opportunity you’ve always wanted, you’d never know if it’s right for you unless you muster the courage to try. A dream without a goal is only a dream, and it may be free, but it won’t get you anywhere but disappointment. Don’t be afraid to take risks because that’s the only thing we can ever do in life. We can be screwed, mistaken, lost, but we would never know how to rise above them if we were too afraid to get bitten. Sometimes, the only way to get you out of an anxious state of mind is to ask and get over it.
REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE BLESSED
Pause whatever you’re doing and take time to acknowledge the fact that you are alive and breathing. You are not unfortunate nor are you unlucky. Look around you and cite what you see (and thank God that you have the opportunity to see them with your two eyes because some people can’t). Think about what you have that others don’t. Remember that you can choose to look at the brighter side of things even when you’re on the dark side. If you keep in mind that you are blessed with the bountiful graces of God, you’re more likely to humble yourself. Make it a habit to count your blessings then you’ll be too optimistic to count what’s not there.
PRAY FOR FAITH AND PEACE OF MIND
Even when it’s hard, trust that you will get the future you deserve when the right time comes. Have faith that your purpose will shine the brightest when it’s your day to shine. It’s difficult to believe something you can’t exactly foretell but that’s exactly what faith is all about. You should constantly pray for the peace of mind in good times and bad because fear and doubt wouldn’t come only at your lowest times. Believe and take risks in honor of your faith, and you will be led to a beautiful path.
BE INTENTIONAL WITH YOUR GOALS
If you’re intentional with your goals by formulating habits that you really follow, you will take control of them eventually. You become intentional with your goals by doing them every day and still working on them even when there are bad results or no results at all. This means that you make it your intention to create progress regardless of the circumstance. This will save you from entertaining negativity because you’re too busy working on your weaknesses and leveraging on your strengths.
IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE
Although it will not entirely wipe out the chances of you doubting your place in a relationship, it will help you ease your mind off of the trust you build with someone once you take care of it. When you know you’ve shown nothing but true and pure intentions, you won’t second guess your worth in a relationship because you know for yourself you didn’t take for granted the relationship you have.
YOU’RE EXACTLY WHERE YOU NEED TO BE
It’s time you accept that no matter how much you overcontrol every minute of your life, the results you want won’t happen in a snap of a finger. Success happens over time, with hard work and commitment to make every single day productive (whether it’s creating output or investing self-care).
When you want to be on a fast pace, the problem is, probably you can’t catch up and you tend to burn out. Have faith that whatever position you’re in today, that’s because you’re on that chapter of your book right now. You shouldn’t be jealous of other people’s achievements today because you all have different stories.
HAVE A SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX
Resting your mind from absorbing much content from other people can help put your mind at ease. Feeding on your insecurities in social media can be an uphill struggle. You have to separate yourself from constantly being on your phone all the time. It’s better to create something you’re going to be proud of instead of doing something for the praises of others. Being content with what you accomplish is enough. This will save you from caring what insignificant and irrelevant people have to say to you. Getting a social media detox can save you from the toxic influence of the definition of success, rich, healthy. We all need to be reminded of our purpose, and knowing which information to filter and which to believe in is a start.
GIVE YOUR MIND TIME TO BREATHE
Most times, the anxieties in your head are a product of the negative thoughts in your head. You have to create and belong in a healthy, cheerful environment to foster optimism in the conversations you have. You can do this by taking a walk down the park to get some fresh air or committing to a daily workout routine. Sometimes, you get anxious because you dedicate your entire time striving to become productive in a way that achieves results. When you convince your mind that you have to be “busy” every time to be successful, taking a break would be considered a mortal sin.
We make mistakes, we move on. We make a new plan with the application of our insights of the past. If it fails, we make another plan. We have no time to debate the natural and inevitable cycle for it is of no use. We’re all scared of not being able to control our destiny, even when it’s not ours to control.
“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”Corrie Ten Boom