Photo by Igor Miske from Unsplash
We are all capable of being rude as we are all capable of getting angry. Some find being rude as something natural in their personality and cover it behind the word “strong” personality. On the other hand, some people think they only resort to being rude more like a defense mechanism when they’ve been getting the foul treatment and somehow they need to level the playing field. While some act rude when they get upset because they’re not getting what they want.
Regardless of the kind of person you are or the level of tolerance you have, we all find it off-putting when someone is being rude to us. We all have those days when we wake up on the right side of the bed and we lose all the optimism when someone gives us the runaround when we’re in the middle of something urgent. We all have different upbringings that influence our character and that will inevitably be a problem when these different attitudes and belief systems clash.
Have you met a rude person in your life?
What if you’re that jerk in someone else’s story?
23 WAYS YOU’RE BEING RUDE WITHOUT YOU KNOWING:
TAKING SOMEBODY ELSE’S FOOD WITHOUT PERMISSION
The mere act of taking someone else’s food without permission is intrinsically wrong, but this rule can vary in different contexts like the flexibility of the boundaries between two people. If you’re closely related with someone such as a family member, then it’s probably not as wrong as when you take from someone you barely know. Nevertheless, it’s not good to take food away from another person (especially with dirty hands) as it’s very disrespectful. It doesn’t cost anything to practice good manners and ask for it if you want to take a bite.
INTERRUPTING WHEN SOMEONE’S TALKING
Whether you see someone talking on the phone or talking to someone personally, never think you can easily barge in and interrupt a conversation like it’s nothing. It’s rude to take away the attention from the one speaking and steal the learning experience from the one listening. If what you’re going to say is urgent, then you can do so politely and quickly so they can resume whatever they were talking about.
INVADING SOMEONE’S PRIVACY
Some people think it’s alright to invade someone’s privacy if they have a good intention for doing so. This goes beyond opening someone’s diary or journal. For example, if you have a friend who’s talented in painting and you see his sketchpad hidden underneath the bookshelf in his room, it doesn’t give you the right to look into it without his permission. Your friendship isn’t a license for you to open something that they have kept so hard with themselves no matter how good your intentions are. If you truly want to help him be confident about his work, then you can convince him to appreciate his skill and talent the right way.
FORCING SOMEONE TO OPEN UP
When someone undergoes an embarrassing or worse, a traumatic event in his life, it is borderline rude to talk about it if he’s uncomfortable. You don’t know what’s on his mind or if he’s still healing from that experience and bugging him about it isn’t going to help him. Moreover, making someone feel like they’re obligated to tell you what happened or what’s happening in his life is just awful.
NOT LETTING SOMEONE SPEAK
Everyone has the right to speak up his mind, even when it doesn’t please you personally. Not letting someone speak reflects how you measure a person’s worth according to your judgment and biased views. It speaks more about how you condescend to other people’s ideas and reason. For some reason, you think anything he’ll say is not of prime importance. You don’t let someone speak because you want to be the only source of attention and awe. It’s rude and self-centered to want the conversation to revolve around you, your lifestyle, and achievements to the point that you discredit another person’s input that’s better than yours.
CORRECTING SOMEONE IMPOLITELY
This is a selfish way of telling you’re right and you need everyone to know. Someone may be working on something they have difficulty with and you have the audacity to humiliate them publicly. Sometimes, even though you know someone is wrong, that doesn’t give you the permission to give your opinion without being asked. This doesn’t only count as rude but also opportunistic because you’re taking advantage of the chance to be praised for your intelligence by stealing away the learning opportunity of the person.
ASKING FAVORS BUT NOT RETURNING THEM
Not all favors need to be reciprocated but it’s a different story when two people had an agreement about doing this for somebody and that somebody doing another thing for you. It pisses anyone to know that the other person did not hold up his end of the bargain after you completed yours in good faith. When your favor is done, you then pull a guilt act where you make the other person feel guilty for claiming his end.
MAKING FALSE PROMISES
Many people would “stretch the truth” (which is a nicer way of saying they lied) and act like it’s not a big deal to get what they want. They are fond of leading people on so they can do something for the other and being told that they will be done with the same but it never happens. This is a rude and wrong way of building trust with another person because the very foundation itself is fickle with lies. You are not only leading on the person but also sending a message that they are gullible enough to be fooled by you.
SHOWING UP LATE
Not only is punctuality a requirement in school and the workplace, but it is also a manifestation of your professionalism concerning your commitment to your job. However, in a more personal and casual context, showing up later than the expected time is an act of disrespect to other people’s time. You can be a jerk when you think people must wait for you. Showing up late sends a message that whatever you’re doing is more important than what other people are doing. Little do you know, they’re sacrificing a lot more time to meet you but you’re taking it for granted.
DELIBERATELY POINTING OUT SOMEONE’S INSECURITIES
When you’re fully aware of someone’s insecurities, it doesn’t matter if you actively or passively do this, if you shed light on it, you’re being rude. You embarrass the person by making him feel bad instead of helping him work on them. Sadly, this happens very often especially when one is in a situation where he has to compete for the respect and attention of somebody he adores. This is a terrible behavior from someone who’s insecure himself and is hanging that other person, his competitor, out to dry.
BLAMING OTHERS FOR YOUR SHORTCOMINGS
A lot of people, especially those whose reputation is seen as spotless by the public eye, tend to play the victim when they’re squeezed into a situation. By playing the victim, they do everything to pass on the blame away from them. To them, taking accountability means a sign of weakness and a “taint” in their social image which is a nightmare for them. This is a rude thing to do because you’re dragging somebody else in your mess even when he had no role to play in it. When you’re fond of doing this, chances are, you will also take credit for an achievement that’s not yours for people to validate you.
PUTTING SOMEONE IN AN AWKWARD POSITION
It’s a different level of rudeness when someone puts you in a place where you have no choice. They do that out of desperation to escape from the unwanted spotlight so they expose you and put you in the hot seat. This usually happens when one is under interrogation or when confronted with something unexpectedly. Rude people pull this trick from the book and hang you out like a bucket of bait. This doesn’t only potentially embarrass the person you dragged but will also invite more eyes on him even when it’s not supposed to happen.
MAKING UP STORIES
Without a doubt, you’re being rude when you’re making up stories about people whom you barely know because you come from a jealous point of view. Your insecurities expose themselves by the lies that spit out of your mouth; and to a wise person, they’re more likely to judge you than the person you’re gossiping about. You’re being rude for spreading information without any proof or verification and for dragging more people into your banner of hate.
GOING TOO FAR TO PROVE A POINT
You’re a jerk when you go to lengths where you embarrass someone and bring up his past to prove a point. It’s not enough for you that everyone knows you’re in the right side on the argument but you still want to push harder to rub it in his face. When it comes to this extent, it says a lot more about your character than the person’s mistake. You are ruining your reputation by being stubborn and prideful, not to mention, by being rude to the person who was mistaken.
USING SARCASM IN THE WRONG TIME
The use of sarcasm depends highly on the proximity you have with the audience in the room. Sometimes, your sarcasm quickly turns into an offense and insult to people who are not so close to you. To someone who’s leading the conversation, it would be hard to check whether your sarcasm is hitting or missing the mark of your humor, so it would be best to not overuse it if you’re second-guessing whether you should. Also remember that sarcasm is almost never used nor encouraged in professional conversations unless if it’s used in marketing strategies, for example.
SABOTAGING SOMEONE ELSE’S PLANS
If you sabotage someone’s plans, you’re sending a message that you couldn’t care less about her. It’s rude when you wreck something that has been planned for so long just because you don’t like it. An example is showing up in an event without following the motif (especially a wedding or a debut) which for some is considered very important. You may not find it a big deal because you’re only a guest, but this looks different to the guest of honor. If the celebrant wants everything in order including the aesthetics and colors of the outfits in a picture, you have no right to tell her otherwise.
It’s her party and she gets to decide what she thinks makes her event even more memorable. Another scenario is also when you invite someone else (or worse, a group of people) to come even without the consent of the guest of honor. You have no right whatsoever to tag people along especially when they’re not related to the celebrant and vice versa. Do understand that the number of seats is required to be finalized because it comes with a specific cost with the food and the space of the venue, both of which you are not obliged to pay.
NOT PAYING ATTENTION WHEN SOMEONE’S TALKING
Anyone would agree if I say it’s insulting when you’re almost out of breath from talking but nobody is paying full attention to you. It’s either he is using his phone or doing something else while pretending to hear every single word coming out of your mouth. As the speaker, you’d feel like you’re invisible; like you’re not worthy to be heard and respected. You feel like everything you’re saying isn’t important or useful to them, and that’s one of the worst feelings. What’s worse is when the other person was the one who asked for your input but ended up ignoring you. This doesn’t only insult the speaker but also sends a message that you are incapable of showing politeness even in the simplest situations.
CUTTING IN LINE
Why cutting in line is rude is pretty self-explanatory. You make the line go longer and make the people behind you wait longer. Furthermore, if you’re cutting in line for reserved seating, someone in the back might not get in because of you. Keep in mind that nobody likes long queues, so when they do, it’s because it’s important to them. If you would’ve wanted to be catered first, then you could’ve gone there earlier than anybody else. You shouldn’t have to waste other people’s time to forward your interests.
IMPOSING YOUR BELIEFS ON SOMEONE
There’s nothing ruder than someone who thinks his opinion is the truth that must be universally adhered to. If you don’t even have the respect to considering that there are different opinions besides yours, your closemindedness will cut your relationship with everyone you’re with. You won’t get along with anybody if you continue to act as if you’re the only one who’s right. It’s annoying when someone forces you to believe what he believes in even if that’s everything you’re against in. Let people believe what they want as they are free to, and even if you don’t think the same way, you won’t lose anything if you respect their choice.
INVALIDATING SOMEONE’S FEELINGS
It’s insensitive when you tell someone he has no right to feel the same feeling as you because you do different things. You invalidated his feelings because you insist one can only feel tiredness if he does the same job as you or has the same lifestyle as you. In other words, your measurement of tiredness is only your own and whoever thinks otherwise means he’s wrong. You don’t know what’s going on in his mind, or even his upbringing for that matter, so you have no basis to counter him feeling tired. It’s one thing to be mentally tired and it’s another to be simply lazy (but you don’t get to decide which is true for him). However, if you do think it’s just the latter, then you don’t have to say it in his face.
DISGUSTING CRUELTY BEHIND HONESTY
It’s downright rude and harsh to give unnecessary comments or feedback to someone who isn’t asking for it. Some people dare to say something without any regard for how it would affect the feelings of someone. In defense, they would say they were just being honest. They don’t care whom they hurt or offend because they insist what comes out of their mouth is nothing but the truth.
They would make you feel like you’re the one who can’t handle the truth. Although that may be true, it’s not a well-enough reason for you to give uncalled-for insults to someone whom you think deserves your negativity. For all you know, he is already aware, or worse, insecure about it and you just had to open your mouth and worsen the situation for him.
NOT CONTROLLING YOUR NOISE
Many people think only of themselves when making noise, forgetting that they are also other people in the room. It’s rude to talk so boisterously over the phone when you’re in a restaurant where people are eating their meals. Also, blasting your music in the library where you will disturb those who are focused on studying will get you thrown out. The volume of your music should be monitored where only you can consume and not inconvenience other people. It’s important to be wary about your surroundings especially when it involves sound like playing a video on your phone or watching a movie. Even if some don’t have the guts to confront you about it, you shouldn’t have to wait for someone who isn’t afraid to call you out on your rudeness.
What irks me the most is when I see someone litter his garbage without any regard for the cleanliness of his surroundings. When you irresponsibly contribute to the clutter accumulating in the streets and drainages, you are being rude and disrespectful to the regulations of the place, law enforcers, custodians, and the public as a whole. It doesn’t cost anything to at least have the human decency to put your trash inside your pocket or your bag in the meantime when there’s no designated trash bin available. This behavior reflects not only how you act in your household but also how you expect people to clean up after your mess.
“Stay away from people who don’t know who they are but want you to be just like them. People who’ll want to label you. People who’ll try to write their fears on your face.”Richard Peck, The Best Man