|Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe from Unsplash|
Building confidence is a long-lasting struggle that everyone goes through in life. It takes conscious, intentional efforts to steer away from people who enjoy suppressing our self-esteem until there’s none left. It takes courage to isolate yourself from the noise of the world, so you can have time to reflect on yourself. Truth be told, no one is born confident. Everyone has his own inner critic who discredits your accomplishments and frowns on your failures to the brink of insanity. This is where the power of confidence comes in — it restores the faith in yourself and erases the negative energy in your body.
When you’re confident, you start to see the world from the lens of someone worthy and proud of how far he has come. You start looking at challenges as a learning experience rather than an irreversible consequence. Confidence ensues when one fully realizes that everything will work out as it should. To realize that, you need to be honest with yourself and accept that you will go through hardships, but you will be all right in the end.
Many people have it easier while some have it harder to gather the thought of saying one good thing about themselves. Usually, this is because they have gathered all the garbage from other people, and now their hearts are covered with so much pessimism that they forget to look after themselves. Sometimes, being confident means reserving your help for someone because you have your problems as well. It means being upfront about your intentions and drawing the lines when people get too dependent.
To be naturally confident is to embrace fully the good and bad about being human. When you’re confident, you are not afraid to take risks. If it paves well, you would know you were capable of great things. On the other hand, if it doesn’t work out, you would learn your lesson. Then it wouldn’t have to be a wrong choice at all because you’ve received a unique blessing that you wouldn’t get in the bliss of success.
5 EFFORTLESS WAYS TO BECOME NATURALLY CONFIDENT WITH YOURSELF:
PRACTICE A GROWTH MINDSET
When you view life with a constant hunger for personal growth, the worst fear you would have is to be in the same place as you are now in the next ten years. You would be terrified when you’re not going out there experiencing new things and meeting new, diverse people. All you want and need is to overcome your fear of doing something completely new to you because you want to be better tomorrow than you were yesterday. By having a growth mindset, you accept that your thoughts and beliefs would change over time and that there’s no shame in changing your opinion about something.
You become confident in accepting new input from others and facing obstacles in life because you know that they are necessary for growth. Your talents and gifts will develop when they are tested and polished with rocks thrown at them. With a growth mindset, you refuse to believe that your gifts are innate and nothing more can be done to develop them. You can become naturally confident when you believe that you will be a better, stronger person through hard work and ordeals.
FLAUNT YOUR FLAWS
To become naturally confident, redefine your perspective on your flaws and past mistakes. It’s a matter of redirecting your point of view into the brighter side of things. If you start seeing the scar on your knee as something more than a wound, as the life-changing experience of falling then getting back up again, you would be proud of that scar. If you start thanking yourself for getting a job while studying as an act of strength and endurance, you wouldn’t feel bad when your classmates are out partying on the weekends.
No matter where you are in life, you will always have something that they don’t. The flaws that you hide are not flaws; they became flaws because of other people and it’s not your problem that they see it that way. To be confident in everything you do, stop being ashamed of what they consider as weak, poor, or different. The secret is to own your flaws and to reclaim the meaning that they tarnished into a remarkable experience that none of them will ever understand.
DON’T DWELL ON WHAT’S ON OTHER PEOPLE’S MIND
Confidence means not caring too much about what you think people are thinking of you. Confidence is acknowledging the truth that they can think what they want about you and it’s beyond your control. If you’re aware of your actions and the reasons behind those deeds, you can justify for yourself if what they’re thinking about is untrue. If it is true, reassure yourself of the fact that we are all capable of changing for the better. If they can’t accept your wrongdoings and continue to shame on your past mistakes, then that’s on them and not on you.
Stop assuming things in people’s heads because you will never grasp the entirety of what’s going on in there unless they say it to your face. But even if they open up to you, their thoughts and opinions can change quickly, and then you’ll be back to not knowing anything. The same goes for them. They don’t know exactly anything you’re thinking as of this moment. They can’t accurately preempt what your next move is or predict how you will react next. Constantly worrying about what they think is pointless, sad, and agonizing. Shift that focus to your strategies and start executing them religiously every day.
CHOOSE HUMILITY EVERY TIME
Confidence flourishes in humble thoughts and actions. When you take every opportunity to practice humility, you wake up each day grateful and mindful about what you have despite the many reasons you don’t deserve it. Contrary to popular belief, being humble is not thinking you are more important than others. It’s also not thinking you are less important than others. When you develop the virtue of humility, you also develop confidence in yourself because you dig deeper into the beauty of being human. It’s about accepting that as a human, you are not always right and you don’t always have the answers to everything. Like everyone else, you can’t save the world alone nor can you convince all people to change because of your influence alone.
As soon as you acknowledge the imperfections that come along with being human, you do not respond in arrogance and selfishness because you know that you’re no better than anyone else. Underneath all the glamour and flawless skin, we are all flesh and bones who will die someday. Seeking perfection in an imperfect, finite world is a waste of time and energy. Looking at yourself as the perfect person makes you terrified of making mistakes and living life because of the fear that you will tarnish any part of you that’s close to artificial perfection.
When you make it a habit to recollect your thoughts and feelings, you become more in control of what to do and what you expect to come out of it. A mistake that people usually do is to do something that feels right to them at that moment and that’s what gets them in trouble. Blindly following your instinct without any thought for consequences is a risky and irresponsible thing to do. Just because you can do what you want to do, won’t make you any more confident. In reverse, it will make you anxious about the gravity of impact it will cause because you are not thinking clearly.
But when you constantly analyze why you’re feeling this and why this thought has crossed your mind, you are more present and responsive at the moment. You examine your personality from another’s point of view and analyze why they respond how they do when you do something to them. You understand why this particular action triggers you to resent or get angry quickly. You understand why this reward motivates you to keep going and trace where all this is coming from. When you meditate daily, you keep track of your mishaps and mistakes, extract the underlying lessons, and move on from them with more confident energy and a wiser mind.
Confidence comes and goes depending on how much you nurture it. If you spend most of your days watching someone else’s next move, you’ll be quickly drawn to his being, and the next thing you know is you’re trapped in his life. You keep preempting what that someone will do next that you forget to take interest in your plans. If your habits don’t align with bettering yourself daily, you lose the drive that connects to your purpose, and that’s when your self-esteem breaks. Usually, when you’re naturally confident, that’s because you know that you are made for a purpose, and so everything you’ve been through and will be doing in the future is bound by the fate that you’re destined to have which is made true by your actions.
When you’re truly confident, you don’t dim the other’s light to make yours look brighter. You don’t project your insecurities to other people’s actions. You rejoice in other people’s successes because they bloomed in their time, as will you in yours. You don’t take away any learning opportunity from others so you can take advantage of all the opportunities for yourself. Being naturally confident means giving a portion of your time and intelligence to those who need it because you know for yourself that you are good, and so will they, with your help.
“Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.” – Benjamin Disraeli