5 Things to Recall When You Feel Miserable with Other People's Success

Photo by Kelsey Chance from Unsplash


Do you remember what it was like to feel jealous for the first time when your friends got recognition over you for doing the same thing? The rush of guilt suddenly rises in your chest as you think, “Why am I acting jealous to my friends? Aren’t I supposed to be happy for them?” Then you start thinking about your insecurities, and one of them is what a terrible friend you are. Well, if that feeling of envy is what makes you think you’re an awful friend, don’t beat up yourself too much.

All of us have insecurities, and often we get defensive of them because of shame and fear of judgment. Our insecurities speak about what’s inside our hearts. It’s normal to feel anxious and somewhat fake when we cheer for their achievements. It’s because most times, we’re happy for them only on the surface. It’s important to help yourself stay afloat above these insecurities so you don’t drown in them. Otherwise, it’s harder to find yourself again after you lose your worth.

Although we can’t control sudden urges of jealousy and insecurity about other people’s happiness, it doesn’t mean we can’t slowly overcome it. Do your best to silence the inner critic that forces you to compare yourself to others. You can start by saying good things about yourself and being reminded of the challenges you’ve faced and conquered. A good way to do this is to recite affirmations daily especially in the morning as soon as you wake up. 

 

You might like: How to Stop Envying Other People’s Seemingly Perfect Lives from Tiny Buddha

 

 

5 THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHEN YOU FEEL INSECURE ABOUT OTHER  PEOPLE’S SUCCESS: 

 

LEARN TO BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE 

 

It’s easy to be envious of another person’s slice of cake if all you see is the missing piece of your round cake. If you aren’t grateful for what you have, you always see less of what’s yours. On the other hand, if you’re thankful for what you have, you don’t worry about getting approval from other people because you know the value of your possessions.

Despite a lot of people telling you to be grateful, they underestimate how hard it is to be in this state of mind all the time. Regardless, we should all learn to be grateful in every encounter.
When you’re grateful, you focus less on what others possess and cherish more on yours. You’re contented with what’s left of you.

As long as you’re feeding your heart with greed, you will never find contentment in life. Stop counting the things that you don’t have and start naming the things that you do have. Perhaps there is a bigger reason why you have the things you do and don’t have the things you don’t. Everything in this world is given to you when you need it. 

 

YOUR TIME FOR PROSPERITY WILL COME 

 

Don’t fret, your time will come. Cheer for others on their successes so they may rejoice in yours as well when it comes. Just because they reached their goals before you doesn’t necessarily mean it’s harder and more unlikely for you to reach yours. You will have your turn when your hard work will pay off at the right time. This is a matter of your patience, on your ability to remain an optimistic attitude while being grateful for what you have in the present.

When your success comes, it will be sweeter than everyone else’s because you know you’ve gone through a lot to witness this moment.
When it takes longer to get, you grow more appreciative about what it took for you to get there because not many people can do that. Keep going for your dreams despite the many tempting reasons to stay in your comfort zone.

You can’t always let life take its course; sometimes you need to take action on your own by taking risks. At the right time, God will shower you with abundant blessings which you cannot fathom. You don’t have to be sad when yours haven’t arrived yet. As long as you work in humility, success will make its way to you in the time you least expect it. 

 

IF THERE’S ANY COMPETITION, IT’S WITH YOURSELF 

 

The success of others isn’t mean to provoke or belittle you because it’s not about you. Don’t assume competition with other people. Avoid involving yourself too much on their journey where it hurts your self-esteem because you compare your failed attempts to their successes. No heated competition would exist if you don’t make it your burden that they’re doing well in life. There’s no need for you to be hard on yourself just because others seem to have it easier. You never know what exactly they go through so you can’t fully judge a success story when you’re only looking at the admirable parts.

It’s better to invest your time and energy in changing your bad habits and replacing them with good ones than fueling your jealousy towards others by always watching their every move.
Self-development starts when you acknowledge that you are in control of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. When you accept this power to change, shift the focus towards your journey so you can measure your improvement based on your metrics.

Not only will you avoid enabling jealousy against other people, but you will also have a clearer sense of your path. You should only focus on your progress, your improvement, your lapses. Do your best to be better than you were yesterday. When you compete with yourself, you define your meaning of success, so you don’t need to base your decisions on other people’s expectations and standards. 

 

YOU WALK DIFFERENT PATHS  

 

There’s no point in feeling miserable with other people’s success because everyone takes different paths in life. We want different things and differ in how we want to achieve our dreams. You have different goals and priorities. Our lives run on different timelines. This means their success isn’t a hindrance nor a delay to yours.

Don’t stifle your willpower just because you’re discouraged by not getting where you are right now. Others may experience the sweet taste of victory ahead of them, but it’s okay because you’re not going through the same thing.
It’s not fair to judge and questions the path you’re on just because you have bumps on the road. Every path has struggles.

You may not see it in other people’s journeys, and it’s probably because they don’t show it. Keep it in mind that you don’t have to follow what they’re doing or what they’ve achieved to get to the same place they are in. Your road may be longer and more daunting than the rest, but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible to get through. You create your own path, and no one else can ever justify how it feels to be on it. 

 

HARD WORK IS THE COST OF DREAMING 

 

Resenting other people’s accomplishments won’t make you any likely to be successful. Perseverance and hard work are the real deal to get started. When you see someone else doing well in his career, it’s safe to assume that he may be a diligent worker. He has probably gone through a lot of challenges to land on so many great opportunities.

Before you catch yourself feeling jealous of others’ success, it’s a smart move to reflect on your work ethic and daily habits. Let their success be an inspiration to you. Try to see how they’ve done it and create a habit that works for you.
If they’re close friends of yours, observe how they managed to pull it off and ask questions about how they respond to dilemmas so you can learn a thing or two from them.

Remember that your insecurity will take you nowhere, but raw hard work will take you places. When you decide to chase after your dreams, understand that you need to give an immense amount of dedication and commitment to it. Remember that nothing in nature blooms all year. In every species of life, there’s always a time for joy and prosperity. The strongest ones endure all the seasons, and so they’re the ones that reap the best fruits. 

 

CONCLUSION: 

 

Try your best not to express misery on other people’s happiness, as it’s likely you will show happiness in their misfortunes as well. Don’t be a slave to your emotions. When you hear great news from other people, congratulate them and be happy for them. Be joyful in the fact that everyone’s got demons in his life but he managed to overcome his. Not everyone has the strength and faith to surpass life’s trials, and we all need that sense of commitment to rub on us.

Learn from their experiences and inculcate them in your mind.
Whether with or without your help, some have gone a long way to get to the place where they are at their happiest. Success means a lot of things to different people so don’t compare their definition to yours. When you learn to stop caving in the successes of others, you can stop resenting them and yourself. Don’t allow negativity to consume you just because you let your feelings get the best of you. 

 

 

“If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you.”

Lao Tzu

Published by Monique Renegado

Monique started Life Begins At Twenty as a 20-year-old college student from the Philippines. In her lifestyle and wellness blog, she shares first-hand experiences and soulful advice about student life, relationships, mental health, adulting, and self-growth. Monique is passionate about literature, music, public speaking, and family. Besides studying and blogging full-time, she strives hard to become a published author with her first YA fiction novel and poems. Monique is the older sister you wish you had to help you navigate your twenties successfully. If you want a constant drive for motivation and pep talks, be a part of her journey.

16 thoughts on “5 Things to Recall When You Feel Miserable with Other People's Success

  1. Great, helpful post here! I know I've definitely felt jealous of friends before – particularly in a test setting – but I'll be sure to keep these tips in mind if that happens again. Thanks so much for sharing!

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  2. It's hard to feel grateful about what you have when you don't feel like you have anything, especially when you've always been poor and will likely always remain poor. Unless I can get my health sorted or at least manageable, I'll likely never be able to work again and I'll be stuck living in a box owned by slumlords. Luckily I don't resent other people due to their success, it's just a painful reminder of how stuck I am

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  3. It's very easy to feel envious of other people's successes, isn't it? But as you say, we're all on different paths, and if you can,try to take inspiration from them rather than view them as competition 🙂

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  4. Loved reading this! I think that learning to appreciate what you have and knowing taht we are all in different paths, at different point in life is the start for not feeling envy for other's people accomplishment. I really feel when you said that it's a competiotion with yourself and you define your own success!

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