The Secret to Living a Peaceful Life in Your Twenties

Photo by Karl Fredrickson from Unsplash

In a world where chaos and turmoil are rampant, peace of mind is a rare treasure. Nowadays, we have immediate access to what happens in other people’s lives, including those who live halfway around the world. People are free to loiter and stalk their way to getting our most-kept secrets just to share juicy gossip with their friends. Unfortunately, the internet makes it close to impossible to have a sense of privacy.

Most days, we may want attention and approval from strangers, but some days, what we want is to spend intimate memories and private conversations with the ones we love.  Everyone falls victim to this widespread ethical dilemma, and somehow, we secretly wish this never happened. It’s like every day is one step farther away from preserving our inner peace.

All of us yearn to have some form of escape, an outlet besides social media to release strong emotions. Most people go to the farthest, strangest places to find a tranquil ambiance. Some people either pay a lot of money to go on crazy solo adventures to search for meaning in their lives. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with opting for this kind of outlet, but I’d be lying if I say there isn’t a less expensive option. You can most definitely achieve peace in your life without emptying your pockets, but it’s not as easy as Elizabeth Gilbert’s (Julia Roberts) experience in Eat, Pray, Love.

It takes a little more than a trip to the mountains to live a life of peace and serenity. Nothing nourishes the soul more than a real, genuine connection with a consistent, healthy source of energy. Being mindful of your choices and habits is the key to replenishing your emptiness. To live a peaceful life is not only a journey but a commitment to your present and future self. It requires a lot of hard work, bravery, and wisdom to build walls against negativity and open doors for positive vibrations. 






Whether in online or real life, people stand on differing standpoints in particular situations. Conflicts and disagreements are inevitable, and the failure to respect another’s opinion is the fuel that prolongs these disputes into a never-ending cycle. Another pervasive thing to point out is people acting like they have enough knowledge and understanding about a certain issue. They go ahead and spit false information and brainwash gullible people that only make matters worse.

As someone who yearns to live a peaceful life, don’t participate in that toxic cycle. When you’ve wasted much time attempting to respond maturely in a civil conversation with an immature person, you would most definitely agree that the smart thing to do is to not argue with him at all. To achieve peace in your life, you need to be aware of how you spend your energy and to whom you give it. When it comes to arguing with ignorant know-it-alls, it’s better to opt for silence than waste another bit of your energy on them.

It’s great to participate in intellectual discourses but it’s not worth losing your sanity and peace of mind over the close-minded ones. You can’t find peace around people who find trouble for sport, so stay away from them as much as possible. Usually, they are the ones who impose their beliefs on others but can’t present valid and sound arguments to the table. There’s no point in arguing with those who have already made up their minds on issues. Remember that they only respond and understand from their level of perception, so stop trying to prove a point.




The kind of people you associate with determines how your life is going to turn out. Being around troublemakers allows them to influence your behavior towards conflict and irresponsibility. Every decision they make, they will make sure to pull you down with them. As a result, not avoiding them would mean allowing them to corrupt your mind into a stressed-out state. Instead of being productive with your day, they would feed you lies and gossip about other people.

Instead of helping you take accountability for your decisions, they would tell you to run away from your problems and pass on the burden to someone else. Troublesome people bring nothing but distress and negative energy to the table. When they get ahold of you, they will manipulate your thoughts and actions until the emotional and mental damages eventually cascade to your other relationships. Once you spot one of your friends who has changed your life for the worse since you met them, cut them loose right away. Letting them latch onto you will only make it difficult to make good choices and to turn your life around. 




One of the hardest about being an adult is to fully reconcile with your past and embrace it. Some adults erase the vulnerable parts of their life by pretending they never made any mistakes growing up. Little do they know their stubborn denial is what’s keeping that burden heavy. There’s nothing shameful about accepting the ugly parts of yourself because, for one, you can’t change what happened. Second, you can’t keep hating the present version of yourself because of what you did in the past.

No one is perfect, and even the most successful ones are susceptible to making stupid choices. Sometimes, the most mature you can do is to change your perspective about your mistakes. Without them, you wouldn’t have realized you were wrong nor would you feel the need to improve yourself. Your mistakes don’t define you, but they’re the trigger that raises you to become a better and wiser individual. Keeping a record of your grudges and wrongdoings of other people does more harm to you than them.

Just because you have a vendetta with someone doesn’t mean it’s the same with them too. In this life, whoever cares more and invests more energy towards hating other people loses in the game of being unbothered. Forgiving yourself is one of the most important ways to live a life of peace and tranquility. It’s a matter of letting go of what you can’t change anymore and facing tomorrow with the hope that things will get better. 




We all live our lives with goals in mind, and choosing to achieve them requires us to be in the right direction. But sometimes, these very goals, when not carefully planned, distract and confuse us from what we truly want. In our twenties, we are pulled in different directions to achieve more than our personal goals (because that’s what’s expected of us). Society dictates countless things that supposedly make up your worth: a good education, a high-paying job, long-term marriage, a well-raised family, etc.

If you fail to achieve one, you’re bound for failure, incompleteness, and unhappiness. It’s like your entire life is one big checklist that you need to do before you can call yourself worthy. In your twenties, the challenge becomes tighter; more eyes will look at your every move. When you’re overwhelmed with so much societal pressure to be at your best all the time, choose to satisfy yourself first. Don’t risk your health and state of mind for fake niceties. Don’t lose yourself to please others’ expectations; that’s the worst thing you could ever do to yourself.

The secret to living a peaceful life in your twenties is to filter the voices you allow to get inside your head. Set boundaries on which voices you should listen to because not all of them are helpful. Be vigilant about how you respond to information you watch and read because all these can turn into voices of their own that may challenge yours. Manifest and attract peace with belief and action, and it will come to you. 




There’s always a period in our lives when our ego gets too big, it stands in the way of our decision-making. The tendency is, you force yourself to be the star in someone else’s life. You fabricate rumors with other people just to get the center of attention. This leans more on the issue of self-esteem and the need for approval. Usually, people with deeply rooted insecurities stir up drama with those around them to divert attention from their insecurities to others.

When you don’t resolve your issues and insecurities, it gets harder to achieve peace in life. Let people live according to their decisions, so you can live freely with yours too. If their decisions have nothing to do with you, don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong. Otherwise, you don’t have a say on the person they get into a relationship with, the career path they choose, and the like. A part of living peacefully is to mind your own business.

If you have nice intentions, keep them to yourself unless absolutely necessary. No matter how much you know a person, you never truly understand the reasons for his actions. Judging someone without knowing the whole story is not the way to a peaceful life. Don’t join in on the gossip in the toxic cycle. Focus on your problems, your goals, your journey, so you can grow and help others to rise with you. 




Stop trying to control other people’s intentions. If you keep pushing others to act according to your favor, you give up freedom and become a slave to their choices. A person who lives peacefully goes on with his life even if he doesn’t get what he wants. He knows the best days of his life haven’t happened yet. He doesn’t let his bad days take away the good ones that are yet to come. If you can’t control something, what’s the point of being upset over it?

Think about all the times you overreacted and ruined the whole day. Dwell on the opportunities you turned down because you were acting in anger. Another secret to living in peace is to accept that you’re not always in control and you’re not supposed to. Life has always been vast and uncertain because the universe continues to turn with or without your interference. Be at peace knowing that your choices are only as good as God will allow. You could be at your lowest point today and feel the happiest the next day.

Rejoice in the comfort that God is there to guide you to walk through the path He has in store for you. Keep calm and let life take its cause the way God intended. You can never achieve peace of mind if you keep overthinking about how life would be different if you didn’t make the choices you did. You can never achieve serenity if you don’t let go of your regrets. As long as you remain stubborn and prideful, you will be stuck in a place so far from peace. 




Acknowledging that life isn’t a bed of roses is one tough step to live peacefully. When you accept that trials and problems are inescapable, you understand that you need to work very hard for your dreams before you can live them. You understand that the real process towards your dreams is messy, unpredictable, and not for the faint of heart.

People who live this truth understand fully that their ambitions can be achieved only when you respect the grind. When you don’t have the patience to wait on your dreams, you end up hurting yourself with expectations, thus affecting your dream. You can find peace in your life when you know what you deserve and believe it will come to you at the right time. You don’t have to rush the process or compete with anyone. One way to maintain peace in your life is to keep your mind from being frantic and at one’s wit’s end.

You can prevent stress and tension from coming into your life by pacing yourself. Remind yourself that you don’t have to be in a hurry all the time. Having this need to get results is a reflection of your impatience and people-pleasing habits. Don’t let other people’s expectations and timelines pressure you into yours. Take things slowly and accordingly.  




A simple way to live a peaceful life is to change the way you perceive competition. Choose to improve yourself day by day despite the societal pressure to be the best among the rest. When you get sucked into the toxic system of beating everyone in the room, your actions would be done out of people-pleasing habits and not because you love what you’re doing.

You can’t live in peace if you think your successes mean less when they’re not better than others. If you tie your worth to your productivity or the measurement of your achievements, your worth will appear blurry to you. Keep in mind that you don’t have to avoid any competition, you just have to see the bigger picture of why you’re competing.

Instead of pitting yourself against another, compete with the version of yourself from the past. Track your progress and formulate a plan of action that helps you grow into twice the person you were before. With every failure, take it as an advantage to do better and to be fiercer. With every setback, analyze the situation, take responsibility for your lapses, and choose to outgrow your bad habits. 



Among all else, the ultimate secret to living a quiet and peaceful life is to put God in the center of your life. When you have a strong foundation of beliefs and values, you have more control over your actions and choices. Peace is found when you’re self-aware of what you want and how you want to achieve it without needing to ask for anybody else’s input.

It’s found when you truly love yourself despite your wounds and scars. If you live for someone else’s expectations, that’s a clear sign that you’re unhappy and at war with yourself. As long as you care more about what your life looks like than how it feels, you will never find inner peace.

But when you wake up each day feeling grateful for having been given another day to live, you know not to waste a single one. You live peacefully when you have nothing but pure intentions with those around you. Most importantly, you live happily when you focus on your life’s purpose while helping out others to live theirs. 


“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.”

Saint Francis de Sales

Published by Monique Renegado

Monique started Life Begins At Twenty as a 20-year-old college student from the Philippines. In her lifestyle and wellness blog, she shares first-hand experiences and soulful advice about student life, relationships, mental health, adulting, and self-growth. Monique is passionate about literature, music, public speaking, and family. Besides studying and blogging full-time, she strives hard to become a published author with her first YA fiction novel and poems. Monique is the older sister you wish you had to help you navigate your twenties successfully. If you want a constant drive for motivation and pep talks, be a part of her journey.

14 thoughts on “The Secret to Living a Peaceful Life in Your Twenties

  1. Thank you for this post. I need it right now! I am trying my best to do all of things and some are going better than others.The main thing I need to do is stop blamining myself for things I can't control.These tips will no me and others. Xx


  2. Peace of mind is the most beautiful thing to aspire to and I love your post. All the points are worth doing whatever your age and I especially like avoiding problematic people, it took me years to learn this.


  3. What a lovely post – peace of mind and letting go of what you can't control are definitely the two that resonate most with me. We're all on our own journeys and that's what we need to remember.


  4. I really needed to read a post like this right now. You gave me that sip of inspiration I was looking for. “As long as you care more about what your life looks like than how it feels, you will never find inner peace” summarizes the best way most people live their lives nowdays!Thank you for this post!


  5. Thank you for this amazing post! It is beautifully written and reading it was so pieceful, like I could hear a calming voice in my head while reading it. All of these tips are incredible, but if I had to name one, I'd say staying away from problematic people hepled me a lot the last couple of years. It is a game-changer for sure. Thank you for sharing this amazing content!


  6. Ahh, your tip on not arguing with close-minded people has saved me a lot of energy and inner grief! While I do enjoy an open discussion about things I may not agree with, sometimes I simply have to move on.Thanks for sharing!


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