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One of the main causes of a person’s unhappiness is the inability to recover from a mistake. We all have our share of embarrassing, devastating, and life-changing mistakes in our lives. We have made so many choices, but not all of them are good ones. Over time, we’re going to ponder on our decisions and wish we hadn’t done some of those. Sometimes, we feel mortified for the things we’ve done that we translate our shame into negativity. Once your insecurities get the better of you, you’re going to be afraid to make shortcomings, and sooner, afraid to take risks. These regrets of the past are limiting our beliefs to turning over a new leaf in the present. The deeper we dwell on our mistakes, the less motivated we are to embrace our flaws. Many people are holding themselves back from creating a future they want because they attach their worth to their mistakes.
We all see our mistakes differently from others. Some people, often those who are self-aware, don’t mind if they make a couple of mistakes here and there. They know they’re imperfect and don’t beat themselves up for being one, whereas some take their mistakes too seriously and blow them out of proportion. They beat themselves up for something that happened in the past. They deprive themselves of new opportunities for redemption. Even worse, people who can’t accept their mistakes tend to push people away because the guilt is keeping them from acknowledging that you’re deserving of kindness.
DON’T STICK TO A MISTAKE JUST BECAUSE YOU SPENT A LONG TIME MAKING IT
The duration of your mistake doesn’t necessarily define your morals or intellect to determine whether the action was a mistake or not. Perhaps it was your season of pain. Once you’ve understood why it had to happen, you’re going to be happy that you’ve gone through it. Allow yourself to feel all the negative feelings so that you can freely cleanse yourself when the season of pain is over.
5 REASONS PEOPLE STILL ATTACH THEMSELVES TO THEIR MISTAKES:
THEY HAVEN’T TAKEN ACCOUNTABILITY FOR THEIR MISTAKES
They couldn’t proceed to move on from their past mistakes because they still haven’t wrapped their head around them. They still haven’t admitted to themselves that they have made a mistake. They haven’t forgiven themselves for their shortcomings, and this is what’s holding them back from having peace. They haven’t accepted the outcome of their choices, so their pride is forcing them to punish themselves.
PEOPLE BRING IT UP
Most of the time, the one factor that’s hindering your progress from moving forward from your mistakes is your environment. From the physical location of your home or workplace to the people you’re usually with—all of these can provoke that scar of insecurity engraved in your soul. Sometimes, when trauma is too intense, people will not forget it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t recover or heal. Sometimes you need to revamp your environment to change your life. When you cut off people who not only hamper your progress but make sure you never get success, life becomes simpler and clearer. Some people are insensitive enough to bring up a topic they know you don’t want to talk about. A flashback of memories comes to mind and suddenly your mood turns sour.
You still find yourself affected by your mistakes because you don’t want to move on. Your perfectionist self says you’ve already stained your record so there’s no point in doing good anymore. You live in despair for the mistakes of the past. When you find yourself consumed by a mistake you’ve done in the past, it’s important to ponder if your mistakes are worth ruining your mood, your day, your plan to grow. Perhaps the gravity of the situation is in your head and you’re the one exaggerating it. Maybe no one is thinking about your mistake as much as you do—because you’re so afraid someone might point them out to you.
THEY STILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES
Some mistakes are too grave that you will spend the rest of your life, and including your kids and grandkids to suffer the consequences of your actions. Some people still attach themselves to their mistakes because they see it in the struggling faces of their family members and friends. They can’t handle the guilt and shame of including their loved ones and that is why they’re punishing the present version of themselves.
THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO DETACH THEMSELVES
Our mistakes can be a numbing and paralyzing experience. Most times, right after we do something wrong, we become helpless, resorting to self-pity. In our mind, we want to move forward and get on with our lives but we don’t know how to escape from our misery. We don’t know to whom to ask for an apology or what we should apologize. Our fear of making the same mistakes twice is the reason we’d rather attach ourselves to what we’ve done than hold ourselves accountable. Figure out the next step and let it all go.
Contrary to popular belief, our mistakes do define us in some ways but not in totality. They do define our weaknesses, fears, triggers, and even our deepest, regrettable desires. Mistakes happen when we’re too curious, stubborn, or ignorant about something. This goes from disobeying simple orders from your partners to trusting someone you’ve only met once and deciding based on momentary emotions.
“There is no sense in punishing your future for the mistakes of the past. Forgive yourself, grow from it, and then let it go.”Melanie Koulouris