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We all have those times in our life when we reach a breaking point. No matter how emotionally mature a person is, everybody has a limit to their kindness, patience, and generosity. Whether it’s because of work, family, or relationships, one thing they have in common is the stress that comes with it. All of us have those days when we take a deep breath and say, “I can’t take this anymore.” Most times, we come to the brink when we’re surrounded by nothing but reminders of our failures and mistakes. Shortcoming after shortcoming. Burnout after burnout. And there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.

When you reach this stage in your life, this is usually the time you’re forced to make a choice: to continue or to change a different path. Your breaking point can be a sign to quit your job or break up with your partner. Your breaking point can be a wake-up call to make huge changes in your life, and this comes with a lot of risks. This can also be the last push you need to chase for the finer things in life, a dream you’ve put behind for years now. We try to avoid reaching our breaking points as much as possible because of the amount of stress that we go through, but we can’t deny the role it plays in helping us grow into the person we want to become.

What to Remember When You’re At Your Emotional Breaking Point:

LET IT ALL OUT

You’ve reached your breaking point because you’re way past your limit. Different encounters with different people have triggered you consistently, so now your bottle is full. You can’t mask your feelings any longer. At this point, you have to stop worrying about who gets hurt and start thinking about standing up for yourself for the right reasons. My advice: let it all out. Remember that you don’t have to keep it in. You can’t move forward in your life if you don’t address the problems you’re dealing with inside. There are times when you have to be selfish, especially if you have put others’ well-being first many times. Sometimes you need to think about how unfair it is to you to always be viewed as someone whose feelings are not given much importance.

COMMUNICATE TO EXPRESS, NOT ARGUE

When it all goes down to straight-up confrontation, don’t waste your energy arguing with everyone. Focus on translating what’s in your mind through your mouth, as respectfully as you can. It’s completely understandable to flip out and say something you’ll regret in these situations, but make sure you don’t miss the point of this encounter. Speak up about the times when your feelings were hurt. Talk about those instances when you felt isolated, unheard, and unappreciated. In heated conversations like this, how you speak is more important than what you say.

The intonation in your voice has more weight than whatever hurtful comment you’re about to throw. Even if your anger and frustrations may get the best of you, be cautious about not insulting anyone without justifiable reason. Otherwise, that confrontation will just turn into the usual, disrespectful bickering without actually solving anything.

BE HONEST, NO MATTER WHAT

Don’t even try to hold back some of the truth just to please the same people who hurt you. When you’ve reached your breaking point, it’s better to speak brutal honesty than have reservations and hold a grudge anyway. If you want to relieve the pressure in your chest, let the truth out. Regardless of your approach, you would still hurt people. As they say, “Hurt people, hurt people.” You will hurt them if you won’t be honest or if you continue to hold grudges while giving them a cold shoulder. At least you got what you wanted to say out of your mind, and now you can sleep better at night. Never forget that your feelings are important and valid too. You may not always be right, but you can’t always be wrong either.

Don’t apologize for feeling a certain way just because you feel guilty. Try to understand why you felt that way and be a little kinder to yourself. For you to be free from your fears, you need to be incredibly honest. After everything that’s been said and done, take in what you can and cry if you have to. At this point in your life, it can be really overwhelming juggling all these emotions all at once. You can call someone you trust and vent your latent sorrows.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR CHOICES

A breaking point is a critical moment when you’re likely to lose all control because of overwhelming tension. During situations like this, the outcome is unpredictable. You never know how other people would respond to your aggressiveness (if that occurs) or your life would never be the same. Remember that you can’t undo what has been done. Some consequences are harder to You have the option to stay and fix things or walk away to start a new life. Don’t think life is over after the outburst. A single situation can change our lives instantly, but we can control what happens next. Even if we may lose grip on certain things, never lose yourself. The circumstances around you alter all the time, but you can survive anything if you take it one at a time. Learn to embrace your mistakes by realizing that you are in control.

How you act makes all the difference, so don’t act in haste and impulse. Being calm when you’re under pressure is one of the hardest things to do, so it’s important to be aware of your feelings. When you know that you’re not in the best state of mind to make a judgment, you don’t tactlessly respond with anger or impatience. When you’re calm, it’s easier for you to cope with the unpredictability of it all than when you’re hot-tempered. Breathe in and out, and expect less from the people around you. Suppressing your emotions only does more harm than good, so it’s better to be vocal. But among all these, never forget the responsibility you have with what you say and mean.

GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL

Having relieved from your breaking point, the best thing you can do is indulge at the moment. This is not the time to anxiously plan the next step in your life or rush into anything permanent. Instead, take things slow and evaluate your decisions in life. Don’t jump straight to the next relationship. Don’t forgive and forget for the sake of forgiving and forgetting, if deep down, you haven’t fully moved on. It’s important to give yourself time to grieve the person you once were: someone who was too lenient and accepting of unappreciation.

Indulge in the long process of knowing yourself on a deeper level by keeping your mind at the center of things. Ask yourself why that confrontation had to happen. What factors put you in that situation and how can you avoid that from happening again? What necessary changes do you need to make to improve your perspective in life? No matter how long it takes to mend yourself, submit to that journey. You deserve the peace you’ve been striving for so long. Perhaps it’s about time you accept that only you can give that.

CONCLUSION:

It’s not easy to be in a situation where your differences with your partner or family put on a strain on your relationship with them. With this level of closeness and intimacy, they can put a toll on your mental health when problems remain unresolved. They can add so much pressure on your shoulders to the point where you explode. This is why it’s important to get something positive from a stressful encounter. When you’re at your breaking point, use that opportunity to deal with inner anger and bitterness by addressing them maturely. Try your best to be in control of your words and actions, so that you avoid blowing things out of proportion. Focus on the issues at hand, and don’t bring up the past just to revisit old wounds.

As scary as being at your breaking point may be, make a conscious effort not to be easily provoked. Remember, the key to winning is to stay calm and listen to your mind. When facing a critical point in your relationship, how you react defines the outcome. Whether your relationship with your family or friends works out or not depends on you, not on anybody else. So, if what you want is to sort out all the obstacles and not to lose something you treasure deeply, don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Pride is the worst enemy that you can’t easily shrug off your back.

“Calmness is the cradle of power.”

Josiah Gilbert Holland