The burden of loss is something we all go through in life. We lose things when we don’t appreciate them enough. We lose things when we attach to them too much. We lose things no matter how much we cherish them. It’s just the way life works— we are never in control of what stays and what leaves. It’s just going to hit us in the back one day and realize what has been with us for all our lives is now gone. No goodbye. No explanations. No warnings.
Sometimes, a loss too big throws us off balance and knocks us down to rock bottom. Every loss comes with a long, disorienting, and complicated process of grief that’s somehow customized only to you. Nobody ever seems to grasp the intensity of your mind feeding you with negativity and cynicism, much less understand you. It’s not easy to wake up and force yourself to accept that your life is never going to be the same as it used to be. You may feel hurt, confused, stuck, and fearful of the future on magnifying scales, all at the same time. And one of the many drastic effects is the inevitable ruin of your relationships.
LOSS IS A PART OF LIFE
Loss, no matter what form, is something that no person can elude in his lifetime. Every day, you are closer to losing something, whether intentionally or unintentionally. And although most of the time we are the ones who are in control of what to keep or what to let go of, usually people disappearing from our lives is something we can’t control. The truth is, we just can’t force people to stay with us. Although losses occur differently throughout your life, remember that hope is universal and present.
Hold on to the universe’s way of saying that the sun rises and falls. The ground breaks yet from it grows a forest. Ferocious storms destroy everything in their path but afterward is peace and serenity. Every day, there is always a beautiful reason to look forward. Surrender your pain by acknowledging that the only way to get through your wounds is to feel the sting and endure till it no longer feels unbearable. You need to be willing to participate in the journey of bettering yourself even if most days make you want to give up.
LOSS WELCOMES A NEW GIFT
As they say, when one door closes, another door opens. When you lose a shot to go far in your career or be with someone you love, that doesn’t mean you won’t get another opportunity to do so. The losses in your life show that something better will come. One day, that missing void inside you will be filled. So, in times of loss, avoid obsessing over what you lost and how much your life would’ve changed had it not been taken away from you. There’s no point in dwelling on what’s missing but rather on what’s there.
LOSS STRENGTHENS YOU
Sometimes, a loss can be so great and unexpected that it leaves us feeling overwhelmingly hopeless and powerless. And that is the worst kind of loss. But no matter how magnificent the tragedy, there will always be room to recover and heal. What is meant for us will naturally find a way to come to us. Loss can push us to go off the deep end like any tragedy, but loss breaks you to become a more resilient version of yourself. Loss has countless consequences, but the silver lining is loss offers the opportunity to regain ourselves as stronger beings.
When you’re on the verge of melting down, after realizing you have lost so much, hold onto the fact that life is a cycle. What you have lost may be replaced with something better or something totally that you’re not expecting. Hold onto the hope that things will get better because eventually, they will. Your life may not seem the same as it was before you lose that something or someone, but it’s okay because you don’t have to return to that phase of your life. That loss is a necessary milestone for you to move forward without carrying the baggage of the past.
Loss reminds us of how limited our control and power are. It doesn’t matter how dedicated we are to protecting that something or someone we wouldn’t want to lose because life will eventually find a way to take it from us. It’s just the way life works. The sooner we accept this, the less attached we become to things that don’t matter.
Each day following your loss will be different. One day you feel like you’ve recovered and another day you feel like the wound is still so fresh. Grief is tricky, and the process of living with is trickier. But with a great support system helping you every step of the way, you may be all right.
“Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive.”Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore