Photo by Joanna Nix-Walkup from Unsplash

Being in a happy and healthy relationship means supporting each other and always wanting the best for one another. The butterflies in your stomach come and go, and regardless of how intense they become, feelings alone don’t determine the happiness of your relationship. As long as you keep the romance alive and make ways to make the other happy, your relationship will surely last. Take care of your relationship as if it were an individual being.

It requires forgiveness and willingness to look past the rough roads in your relationship to make it work. Make sure your perspective of a relationship is realistic and not solely grounded on transient feelings. When your partner is wrong, you stick by his side no matter what. But of course, another way to show your loyalty is to tell them where they went wrong so they can improve and do better.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP STRONG AND HAPPY:

DON’T PUBLICIZE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Putting your relationship out there is like stripping naked in front of everyone to see. Nowadays, more and more couples make their relationship known to the world. They post almost everything about their relationship, including the ugly parts. One day, they’re flaunting their sweet messages and expensive dates on social media and tearing each other’s throats the next. These kinds of couples just love to expose each other’s dirty laundry in front of everyone and view their relationship like it’s a reality show. And usually, these relationships never last.

It comes to the point where anything they do has now lost its specialty. Everyone now knows your business because you allow them to interfere with your choices. When you publicize your relationship too much, you let people in and judge you for your thoughts and feelings even when it doesn’t concern anyone but the two of you. A healthy, long-term relationship always strives for peace, and that can only be done if the couple chooses to avoid disturbance. If you want my advice, preserve your privacy at all costs. It’s more peaceful to love someone when the bond is intimate and out of people’s reach.

COMMUNICATE DAILY

The more comfortable you are in talking with your partner without any fears or pretenses, the happier you will become. For a relationship to last, both must have the freedom to speak their mind and not hold back anything they wish to express. Communication opens the door to understanding your partner’s personality and point of view. It also allows you to express your needs and opinions and connect with him genuinely.

A happy relationship also finds ways to reach out regardless of distance and tight schedules. Just a simple good morning text already means a lot when you’re both too busy with your careers. It just shows you think about your partner in the morning and value his time. Regularly see each other and explore new ways to deepen your intimacy. Talk, talk, talk. Express your feelings about things and also lend your ears to what your partner is trying to say. Also learn to talk about the deeper, more controversial stuff, if you will. Initiate conversations about possible situations that your relationship might go through.

STAY AWAY FROM EXES

Exes, regardless if your relationship with them ended smoothly or horribly, should not have a place in your current relationship. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re tempted to reach out to them. Although some may argue that involving their exes in their current relationships work better for them, I beg to disagree. I think it’s best for everyone if you cut off all ties with your exes to not invite interference and temptation into your new relationship.

Unfriend them, delete your photos and videos, block them in all your social media accounts— anything to keep them away. Out of sight, out of mind. If you haven’t moved on from your past relationship, then do yourself a favor and don’t enter into a new one. Resolve your past issues first and take some time to heal without putting somebody else’s feelings and welfare in jeopardy.

FIND HUMOR IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

One of the best things about being in a relationship is having someone to do fun stuff with. You learn to love your partner more when you’re happy and gleeful while getting to know him, and not feel like it’s an obligation. Any relationship is more fun when both people make jokes and seek fun. When a couple exudes fun towards one another, you are likely to attract and engage with people who are cheerful as well.

This not only widens your circle of friends but also deepens the trust of your partner when around other people. Make new and bold memories with your partner by seeking quality time together. Go outside and do something you both enjoy (or not) and challenge each other’s versions of fun. Don’t be too serious all the time. Learn to goof around and annoy your partner just for the fun of it.

CREATE A PERSONAL SPACE FOR BOTH OF YOU

Although it’s healthy when two people seek time to be with each other, having some alone time is just as important. Everyone needs some time apart from the people they’re used to being with, and that includes their significant others. Take time to do things by yourself, on your own time, at your own pace. Also give time for your partner to do the hobbies he wants, with or without you.

Recognize the need for personal space and enjoy your own company. You can enjoy this freedom by traveling alone, pursuing a hobby, or seeing friends outside your usual friend group. A little distance apart is beneficial for love to bloom and deepen in each other’s absence. You give your partner the chance to miss you and vice versa, which is a warm way to grow your affection for him.

Remember, just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to lose your individuality. Your time apart can also be the break you need to catch up with families you haven’t seen in a long time or devote more time to your starting careers. This way, you can appreciate and adore yourself more without compromising the time you have with your partner. Even when living together, you can create personal space for both of you by having separate rooms where you can do your own thing.

TAKE IT SLOW

If you want a long-lasting type of love, don’t rush things. What’s easily taken is easily broken. If both of you have pure, real intentions, there’s no need to pressure yourselves into committing to something both of you are clearly not ready for. Communicate with your partner about how you want your relationship to go. Tell each other about your dreams and priorities. Let them understand the place they hold in your life right now. Continue to love each other without the overwhelming pressure of meeting some arbitrary deadline.

RESPECT EACH OTHER’S CHOICES

However, that doesn’t mean that you should stop interacting with them. A good step towards a happier relationship is to make sure they know you are there when they need something or if they need someone to talk to. Boundaries are very important in any relationship. Every person has his or her limits, and as their partner, respecting them is one way to show our love.

When you give your significant other time to enjoy his own company, you’re respecting his time. It means you respect his needs, choices, and individuality. If your partner doesn’t want to go take a ballet dance class with you, don’t force them. Don’t mope around and give them the cold shoulder because he doesn’t want to.

Most importantly, don’t expect or force your partner to change to your liking. You either accept him for who he is by appreciating his differences and quirks or leave him be. No one deserves to be controlled to cater to your selfish needs (even if you think it’s the best thing for them).

ACCEPT BAD DAYS AND MOVE ON

Even in a healthy relationship, you’ll have occasional disagreements and feel frustrated or angry with each other from time to time. That’s completely normal. It doesn’t mean your relationship is unhealthy. What matters is how you address conflict. If you can talk about your differences politely, honestly, and with respect, you’re on the right track.

Partners who address conflict without judgment or contempt can often find a compromise or solution. This does not mean that you should turn a blind eye, and ignore everything your partner does that bothers you. On the contrary, you should always be taking stock of your feelings towards them and the relationship to make sure it is healthy and you are happy. It’s important to focus on forgiving your partner instead of rubbing his mistakes in his face.

The guilt is reason enough to make one feel bad, there’s no need to express shame and further resentment. It only destroys his self-esteem and his ability to forgive himself. When you are confident in your desire to be in a happier relationship with this person, can help smooth over petty conflicts if you focus on the good rather than the bad.

CONCLUSION:

Overall, your relationship must be founded on trust and mutual understanding. You and your significant other are a team. Even when you don’t always see eye to eye with your goals and priorities, you reassure them that you’re always there for them. You give them the chance to express their views and that you’re willing to listen and compromise. Take into account what they have to say about you even if the truth hurts.

Be the bigger person and swallow your pride when you have to, even if it means accepting an apology from someone who didn’t ask for it in the first place. Always fight for the love you want to have for the rest of your life. After all, resolving conflicts to achieve mutual understanding is what being in a relationship is all about.

“Anyone can love a thing because. That’s as easy as putting a penny in your pocket. But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect.

Patrick Rothfuss, from The Wise Man’s Fear