Fake friends will turn you into a person you’re not, and you will find it hard to believe that you’ve changed because they have you wrapped around their fingers. Fake friends will like you only if you do what’s good for them. They like the expectation of you to become someone that can be of help to them; to them, you’re just a tool, an object they can use as they please.
Fake friends wouldn’t want to know more about you so they only pick one or two trivial, fun facts about you and persuade you that they already know everything there is to know. If you’re not vigilant enough, they can control your thoughts, your choices, and your other relationships in life. They can be very shady manipulators that will hit you in a place you’re not expecting, and it would be a rough life the longer you are attached to them.
Over the years, the definition of friendships has changed. From the constant exposure to media, it has displayed to us different portrayals of friendship in various situations. This has made us believe that a friendship must be this, must be that, and if the criteria aren’t met, then you need to reevaluate your friends. This false ideology has tainted our friends and even discouraged us to forge newer bonds because we’re afraid we won’t be able to fulfill the roles of what a friend must be.
Toxic friendships can be difficult to identify or resist when a third party confronts you about it, especially when you’ve known someone for so long. Of course, your first instinct would be to defend your friend (whom he calls toxic) in the name of your friendship for how many years. You wouldn’t immediately believe it when somebody says your friend is toxic to you. You need to give your friend the benefit of the doubt.
You would need to consider his upbringing, family issues, past life choices, and every little factor that can justify why he’s the way he is. You need to be a friend. After all, this third party wouldn’t possibly know everything that happens in your friendship, right? He doesn’t even probably know how you two became friends, where your favorite hangout spots are, what the first three secrets you told each other, etc. Long story short, he wouldn’t know the nitty-gritty of your friendship.
When you’re young, you think having lots of friends automatically makes you better and happier than those who have less or none at all. But as you get older, you either realize that they weren’t your friends at all or you had to “lose” them to find yourself. Then you would have thanked yourself for choosing to be brave to let go of people who did not deserve to know you anymore than they have. It may not feel good at the onset of losing them, but someday, you will understand why it had to end.
The ironic thing about friendships in your twenties is you suddenly get the confidence to speak up for what you stand for, what you like, what you think of a certain issue, etc. Back when you were a young teenager, you wouldn’t think you were even allowed to express your opinion about something because you were too afraid your friends would leave you. Now that you’re in your twenties, you become more mindful and conscious of who you share your life with or who you call a friend.
Friendships are one of the most magical beginnings in the world, but not everyone has the luxury of experiencing such. They can happen when one of your mutual friends introduces you or when you’re standing in line and she offered you a tissue after somebody spilled hot tea on your shirt. There are even times when you first look at a person and think you’re never going to be friends with him/her because you two are so different on the surface, but with hindsight, you would’ve had the best time of your life.
Some friendships are also born when your long-time enemy turns out to be your ride-or-die bitch. There are also instances when you know somebody for so long and wonder why the two of you were never friends, but maybe it’s because nobody ever made the first move. If you’re someone who has a knack for making friends, then it probably means you’re a good conversationalist too because it mostly starts with a simple conversation. But regardless of how these friendships start, you rarely see them peak when you reach your twenties (especially when you didn’t have that strong of a bond when you were young).