Do you remember what it was like to feel jealous for the first time when your friends got recognition over you for doing the same thing? The rush of guilt suddenly rises in your chest as you think, “Why am I acting jealous to my friends? Aren’t I supposed to be happy for them?” Then you start thinking about your insecurities, and one of them is what a terrible friend you are. Well, if that feeling of envy is what makes you think you’re an awful friend, don’t beat up yourself too much.
Fake friends will turn you into a person you’re not, and you will find it hard to believe that you’ve changed because they have you wrapped around their fingers. Fake friends will like you only if you do what’s good for them. They like the expectation of you to become someone that can be of help to them; to them, you’re just a tool, an object they can use as they please.
Fake friends wouldn’t want to know more about you so they only pick one or two trivial, fun facts about you and persuade you that they already know everything there is to know. If you’re not vigilant enough, they can control your thoughts, your choices, and your other relationships in life. They can be very shady manipulators that will hit you in a place you’re not expecting, and it would be a rough life the longer you are attached to them.
Many people out there don’t feel the need to show support to their friends in their course of work because they don’t think their help can make any difference. They underestimate the power of moral and emotional support in someone’s career. A monetary offering isn’t the most important type of support there is. As a friend, you’re one of his support systems and your opinion would surely matter to him.
It’s normal to feel not as excited and devoted as they would to their line of work, but you can make a bigger impact if you would try to be a part of their process instead of only the end result. Whether your friend is a beginner, intermediate, or an expert at what he’s doing, he needs all the support he can get from his friends, and that’s where you come in. If your friend is a singer, go to his gigs.
Over the years, the definition of friendships has changed. From the constant exposure to media, it has displayed to us different portrayals of friendship in various situations. This has made us believe that a friendship must be this, must be that, and if the criteria aren’t met, then you need to reevaluate your friends. This false ideology has tainted our friends and even discouraged us to forge newer bonds because we’re afraid we won’t be able to fulfill the roles of what a friend must be.
Toxic friendships can be difficult to identify or resist when a third party confronts you about it, especially when you’ve known someone for so long. Of course, your first instinct would be to defend your friend (whom he calls toxic) in the name of your friendship for how many years. You wouldn’t immediately believe it when somebody says your friend is toxic to you. You need to give your friend the benefit of the doubt.
You would need to consider his upbringing, family issues, past life choices, and every little factor that can justify why he’s the way he is. You need to be a friend. After all, this third party wouldn’t possibly know everything that happens in your friendship, right? He doesn’t even probably know how you two became friends, where your favorite hangout spots are, what the first three secrets you told each other, etc. Long story short, he wouldn’t know the nitty-gritty of your friendship.